Medical Test Survivor Gifts

Medical Treatment.

Evil Exams!

'See? The idiots put my danged knee replacement in backward!'

Garrett knew it was important to jeep his brain from overheating during big tests.

Good Luck in your Exams.

Examinations.

'Barb had her stomach replaced with a mouse's stomach to help her eat less.'

Madame ZuZu. Dream Interpretation. Tarot. Palms. She says the dream where I'm taking a test naked means I barely made it through school.

'Time for your pills.'

'The first exam was easy as ABC, but that one felt more like a D,E or F.'

"If animals can be cloned, why can't homework be cloned?"

Sisyphus replaces himself with a COVID-19 vaccine.

'I got a good place in my exams today. Right next to the radiator.'

While you're at it, will you sew on my shirt button please?

'I had no idea there would be a test.'

'Everything is going to be fine, Mrs.Witzer...'

"You've passed with extinction!"

"Homework! Homework! Homework! I'll be doing this for hours! Talk about a misspent youth."

'You have an 85% chance of surviving this and 20% chance of wishing you hadn't.'

"I wish I'd failed my 11 Plus too...."

"It wasn't a carcinoma at all- it was just an itty-bitty attorney."

B.O.H.I.C.A. Memorial

'How do you explain these terrible verbal SAT scores?'

"You know you're in trouble when you stop praying for the answers and start begging."

Undergraduate and don

"I'm going to have to make this quick, God. I just ask that you watch over me during my double knee replacement tomorrow."

"The surgery went well. You'll be issued a 'Contains No Nuts' card upon discharge."

I had my eyes dilated.

'Well, at least we were able to remove that pesky hangnail. So, you have to be pretty stoked about that."

Exercising in Confinement

'And this one is for going into an MRI machine -- alone.'

'DO we have a Math test today?'

'His mother wants to know if you'll give him a haircut after you remove his tonsils.'

"I'm afraid there's just so far you can go with street smarts."

MD. Online cooking tutorials and too much time on my hands is a dangerous combination.