Standardized Test Survivor Gifts

'My S.A.T. scores were too low? That's it?'

Evil Exams!

"I find it so stimulating to learn new software."

Good Luck in your Exams.

Examinations.

'For heaven's sake, Lois, when are you going to give up this mad dieting of yours?' (woman falls through drain).

"Sorry, I'm preaching again. Why don't we pause for a moment while I pass around the collection plate."

'This towel is wet so I'll subtract fourteen pounds.'

'The first exam was easy as ABC, but that one felt more like a D,E or F.'

'This app is linked to my financial advisor and provides simulated hand holding when the market is down.'

"If animals can be cloned, why can't homework be cloned?"

'I got a good place in my exams today. Right next to the radiator.'

Dieting Motivation.

'And in conclusion.'

'Our fund lost millions, but the good news is our management fees are not based on performance.'

That's not the reaction I was going for. Let me try to put a different spin on it.

"You've passed with extinction!"

"Homework! Homework! Homework! I'll be doing this for hours! Talk about a misspent youth."

Frank was famous for his anti-inflammatory rhetoric.

"I wish I'd failed my 11 Plus too...."

"No you are not ok! Tell me what's wrong! You've been sitting for two minutes without checking your phone!"

'I like the way you handle responsibility, Mac, so I'm going to blame some stuff on you.'

"You know you're in trouble when you stop praying for the answers and start begging."

Undergraduate and don

"Let's first talk about how you could have done worse."

Sign reading "Bought High; Sold Low."

'DO we have a Math test today?'

... and I'd suggest you take more frequent breaks from your computer.

"I'm afraid there's just so far you can go with street smarts."

Bored Meeting