Mountain Road Traveler Gifts

A 'failed' brake check!

"... and I have a follow-up question regarding rawhide."

'So what's it like riding in first class?'

You Are Here

"The GPS works great, we have satellite TV installed, the Sirius stereo sounds fantastic and our every move is tracked by Qualcomm. But could you turn around? I left me iphone at the house. . ."

Skiing.

A treasure map shows you all the roads without tolls.

"Could you go back to the front desk? The receptionist has some forms for you to fill out."

On my list of outdoor pursuits I put skinny dipping way ahead of this.

First aid in mountains

Road sign: 'No Passing Zone... This, too, shall pass.'

'Trust me, there's nobody to rescue that way...'

"We thought we would come somewhere remote to self-isolate."

'Relax, it's just like riding a rollercoaster.'

Warning, ski season abruptly ends here.

Happy Hour

"I don't remember it ever being this windy before."

Kardiff.

Caution: Driver Watching "Hard Copy"

Songs about Texas, next 1100 miles.

"Yup, pretty sure that was a flying squirrel."

'So much for your new Satnav!'

'The secret to life, my friend, is hoppiness!'

Cash Machines From Across the Land

'I'm going to have an out-of-body experience -- can I bring you anything?'

'Do you know the way to San Jose without breaking into a Bacharach number?'

"I think our smart home is suffering from separation anxiety. It's following us."

'Are we broke yet?'

"Hey, welcome to the Catskills. Anyone here from New Jersey?"

Yes, That Was The Exit

I always play the GPS through the backseat speakers. That's were I'm used to receiving instructions.

YONDER...next 347 miles.

'Hello there, how y'doin'?'

'If the GPS has to tell you, 'No, we're not there yet' one more time...'

"Look, if I had all the answers, would I be living alone on the top of a mountain?"