Mountain Mischief Makers Pillows

"You sure you've done this before."

Children disturbing a heart rate reading.

'okay...where did you hide it?'

"Let's save a few so we can continue to piss off the neighbors for the next few weeks."

'But he qualifies for medicare in dog years.'

'How much stuff can I get away with and still go to heaven?'

Photobooth Photobomb

'It's okay sir, I'm private Johnson.'

"Gesundheit!"

"No Joke! I taught my dog to fetch coffee."

Teacher to student: 'Nice use of glitter, but you were assigned to do math problems.'

'The man was real nice about it. He gave me my ball back and even said you can expect a nice call from his lawyer.'

"Here's a buck, kid... Don't tell your mom I snuck out of my retirement home!"

"My fella was chucked out of the water-birth for running around the pool and bombing."

Hallowe'en wake up call

"When I said 'I'm leaving' this morning I meant for the office"

Less expensive equivalent.

'Let's just keep quiet about this, and maybe some terrorist group will claim credit.'

Artist gets pooped on by lots of birds.

'It's a new record, mom - there are six of us in here!'

"It's my wife - she's trying to lure ships to their doom!"

"I guess breakable things need to be more careful around me."

Doctor, I can't feel my legs! I know you can't, I had to amputate your arms.

'The real fun comes when we go through airport security.'

"Sending out 1300 redundancy notices by mistake was a bit of a blooper!"

Jack started to note how these 'accidents' always occurred after he missed a shot.

Doggie Bowl Drill

'Stop fooling around, I can hear my dad coming out of the shower...'

"My dad ate my homework."

"If that's my mom tell her I'm at recess."

"So nice to spend a week just ransacking with the kids."

'Good news! Your positives look negative.'

'Oh no, they're back!'

'We'll soon know whether or not the Easter rabbit is real.'