Mountain Mischief Maker Pillows

Off Road Wellies

Newt sale

'No, you can't use your last wish, to wish for another three wishes!'

Teacher to student: 'Nice use of glitter, but you were assigned to do math problems.'

"How the heck could you forget your sword?"

'Guess what I'd like to see disappear next.'

'Have you tried hitting Ctrl-Alt-Delete?'

"When I said 'I'm leaving' this morning I meant for the office"

"I've just discovered this brilliant new ingredients."

Artist gets pooped on by lots of birds.

Less expensive equivalent.

Hallowe'en wake up call

'Come to think of it son, there's not a single spot in this backyard I've not dug out sometime...'

Knights

Doctor, I can't feel my legs! I know you can't, I had to amputate your arms.

Jack started to note how these 'accidents' always occurred after he missed a shot.

"...And I cheated at solitaire...twice."

What have you done with the spare filter paper, please? I've made you a hat miss!

'Good news! Your positives look negative.'

'He wanted to be remembered this way.'

'Good morning!'

Man defaces a painting to make it fit above his fireplace.

'And watch out for the ... ice.'

Frankie the discount genie

"That's not the boiling oil, that's my casserole!"

"You sure you've done this before."

'Look out for the park ranger while Bernie and I chop us some firewood!'

'I realize it's a bit strange, sir, but due to the new health information privacy laws, none of us is allowed to know your identity.'

'I've got acid indigestion.'

'A second opinion would be appreciated only if confirms my opinion.'

Aircraft accidentally hits a witch.

"For crying out loud, what's all that racket down there? Are those kids raiding the kitchen again?"

"Just think, in dog years we'd be old enough to know better!"

"No, no, no! My old 45 records do not belong in the craft box!"

'I never dreamed that Lady Godiva would run AGAINST me!'