Mountain Madness Gifts

Ski lodge health care team.

First aid in mountains

"But how do I accomplish that in 140 characters or less?"

'I love the mountains and all, but I simply can't do this....I'm just too chicken.'

'It's a combination of March Madness,,, and Linsanity,'

'First of all, relax.'

'What I've learnt sitting on this mountain, alone for ten years, is how boring sitting alone on a mountain for ten years is!'

Mountain Climber With Pillow Padding.

"I can see you're a ski newbie."

"The majestic way they climb higher and higher until they seem to kiss the sky reminds me of the huge pile of work I have waiting for me when I get back."

'I just wish that meant getting ready for the prom instead of the NCAA basketball tournament.'

The Jerry Scarer

Ski kicker.

"Don't be an idiot, Larry."

"Free why-fi.”

"Master, you have 175,568 unread messages in your inbox."

"When was your last meta-physical?"

'Let's have some fun - Let's order from that place that guarantees pizza delivery in thirty minutes!'

I cannot tell you why men will not ask for directions

"Mom?"

'Goopta took early retirement.'

'I know it looks big, but it'll shrink when I wash it.'

'Oops! Does this mean I'm next in line for CEO, Dad?'

"I owe it all to my pacemaker."

You are now leaving Echo Valley - please call again!

Alpine Pipe

'It must be the altitude -- enlightenment shouldn't give you nosebleeds.'

Skiing

Mammoth hoover

'Becoming enlightened fifteen minutes before I did doesn't EITHER give you seniority!'

'Sorry I'm late. I had you booked as the gastroenteritis, on Mont Blanc.'

'... Of course, once you actually achieve enlightenment, it all gets a bit boring.'

"First you forget the flag! Now you tell me you don't know how to yodel!"

'I understand the Adirondacks are where it's REALLY happening.'

'I'm bored...'