Mountain Madness Gifts

Ski lodge health care team.

First aid in mountains

"But how do I accomplish that in 140 characters or less?"

'First of all, relax.'

'I love the mountains and all, but I simply can't do this....I'm just too chicken.'

'What I've learnt sitting on this mountain, alone for ten years, is how boring sitting alone on a mountain for ten years is!'

Mountain Climber With Pillow Padding.

"I can see you're a ski newbie."

"The majestic way they climb higher and higher until they seem to kiss the sky reminds me of the huge pile of work I have waiting for me when I get back."

The Jerry Scarer

Ski kicker.

'I just wish that meant getting ready for the prom instead of the NCAA basketball tournament.'

"Don't be an idiot, Larry."

"Master, you have 175,568 unread messages in your inbox."

'Let's have some fun - Let's order from that place that guarantees pizza delivery in thirty minutes!'

"Free why-fi.”

"When was your last meta-physical?"

"Mom?"

'Goopta took early retirement.'

'Oops! Does this mean I'm next in line for CEO, Dad?'

'I know it looks big, but it'll shrink when I wash it.'

You are now leaving Echo Valley - please call again!

'It must be the altitude -- enlightenment shouldn't give you nosebleeds.'

"I owe it all to my pacemaker."

Alpine Pipe

'Becoming enlightened fifteen minutes before I did doesn't EITHER give you seniority!'

Mammoth hoover

Skiing

'Forget it - the nearest wi-fi hot spot is in Rangoon.'

'Sorry I'm late. I had you booked as the gastroenteritis, on Mont Blanc.'

'I'm bored...'

Expectations vs. Bitterness

"First you forget the flag! Now you tell me you don't know how to yodel!"

'This is no time to decide that you'd rather be doing something else!'