Mountaineer Of Mischief Gifts

"DOWNHILL skiing, not uphill skiing. The clue's in the name."

"Have you been eating the paste again, Todd?"

'Alright, which one of you wise guys pulled the fire alarm?'

'Well, I got a hunting license and a fishing license and by golly I'm going to use them.'

Mayhem, Inc. Part 15

'I thought my appointment was for a TB screening.'

'Yes doctor, it did hurt when you did that!'

Houdini's infancy.

"...And I cheated at solitaire...twice."

Obstruction of justice? Yeah, I can give you something for that.

"Hmm. . . it looks like he was struck on the head with a blunt object. . . If only I could find out what the murder weapon could be. . ."

"Who would've thought Ms. Marcus had so little sense of humor?"

Ski lodge health care team.

'You're fine. Now get out of my office!'

'All right, who broketh the window!'

Magician conjures up a crocodile and is chased by it

'Look out for the park ranger while Bernie and I chop us some firewood!'

"It's a note from the teacher...an example of what can happen when the alphabet falls into the wrong hands."

'I gave you a few extra stitches - Your husband's idea, really!'

"You sure you've done this before."

'Andy, I want you to put on this clown outfit and hand out balloons today.'

'This is Jake. I'm not in now, so please leave a message...HELLO! HELLO! This is Jake! Ha! Ha! Ha! I'm just mesin' with you! I'm still NOT in!'

"Nurse, you've mixed up the helium and oxygen again haven't you ?"

'Mr Mundello, when I said strip to the waist, I meant for you to start at the top.'

"It was too good to be true when the old cat died! They're just back from the shelter with a kitten..."

"Just think, in dog years we'd be old enough to know better!"

'Who gave you that black eye?'

"Careful - it's full of lies."

'Okay, you're due for a lube job, fluid levels check and a new ball joint. Oh, skip that...this is my list...'

"Worst case of hypochondria I've ever seen."

Off Road Wellies

No, dear, you didn

'I just got off the phone with your teacher. Next time you tell her you're from a 'broken home' don't forget to mention who broke most of it!'

'National hug your mom day!'

Heyyy... where's mine?