Mountaineer Of Mischief Gifts

"DOWNHILL skiing, not uphill skiing. The clue's in the name."

"Have you been eating the paste again, Todd?"

'Alright, which one of you wise guys pulled the fire alarm?'

'Well, I got a hunting license and a fishing license and by golly I'm going to use them.'

'I thought my appointment was for a TB screening.'

Houdini's infancy.

'Yes doctor, it did hurt when you did that!'

"...And I cheated at solitaire...twice."

"Hmm. . . it looks like he was struck on the head with a blunt object. . . If only I could find out what the murder weapon could be. . ."

"Who would've thought Ms. Marcus had so little sense of humor?"

'You're fine. Now get out of my office!'

Ski lodge health care team.

'All right, who broketh the window!'

Magician conjures up a crocodile and is chased by it

"You sure you've done this before."

"It's a note from the teacher...an example of what can happen when the alphabet falls into the wrong hands."

'Andy, I want you to put on this clown outfit and hand out balloons today.'

'Look out for the park ranger while Bernie and I chop us some firewood!'

'I gave you a few extra stitches - Your husband's idea, really!'

'This is Jake. I'm not in now, so please leave a message...HELLO! HELLO! This is Jake! Ha! Ha! Ha! I'm just mesin' with you! I'm still NOT in!'

"Nurse, you've mixed up the helium and oxygen again haven't you ?"

"Careful - it's full of lies."

'Who gave you that black eye?'

"Just think, in dog years we'd be old enough to know better!"

'Mr Mundello, when I said strip to the waist, I meant for you to start at the top.'

"It was too good to be true when the old cat died! They're just back from the shelter with a kitten..."

'Okay, you're due for a lube job, fluid levels check and a new ball joint. Oh, skip that...this is my list...'

Off Road Wellies

"Worst case of hypochondria I've ever seen."

'I just got off the phone with your teacher. Next time you tell her you're from a 'broken home' don't forget to mention who broke most of it!'

'National hug your mom day!'

Heyyy... where's mine?

Hospital "They fell off the back of a trolley"