Master Of Mischief Gifts

Magician conjures up a crocodile and is chased by it

"Careful - it's full of lies."

Heyyy... where's mine?

Houdini's infancy.

"Have you been eating the paste again, Todd?"

'National hug your mom day!'

'This is Jake. I'm not in now, so please leave a message...HELLO! HELLO! This is Jake! Ha! Ha! Ha! I'm just mesin' with you! I'm still NOT in!'

'Andy, I want you to put on this clown outfit and hand out balloons today.'

"Please confirm my meeting with the auditors at 2PM, then check the status of my one-way flight to Costa Rica at 1PM."

"Who would've thought Ms. Marcus had so little sense of humor?"

'Alright, which one of you wise guys pulled the fire alarm?'

'Save us!'

"Don't worry about it now, but I'll need that hook back when you're done."

Implement operation 'KILL ALL PLUMBERS'!

"So which one of you pesky dogs stole the last cookie from the bottom of the jar?"

Man's best friend - Man's worst friend - Man's only friend.

"I've just discovered this brilliant new ingredients."

'Done! We're now on Santa's 'nice' list.'

Eager to pull a prank on his chiropractor, Dennis taped a bag of potato chips to the small of his back.

For the third time that week somebody had super-glued the manager to his seat. It was great for team morale.

Out and In.

DIY expert.

"Hey Neil, I've got an idea - let's really freak everyone out and tell them you're quitting physics to become my new co-Pope."

God creates humans.

"You will be pleased to know that the children said sorry!"

'While Dewey distracts the defense, the quarterback simply jogs into the end zone untouched.'

I wonder what the kids are up to at the lake. Your mom will keep her eyes on them. She won't let them get into trouble. Nothing gets by her! ZZZZ. Psst. My silence isn't free!

'How'd you get out of time-out??. . . Dude, if you do the crime, you do the time.'

'To err is human. To really mess up, we've got to do some planning.'

A trap for Santa

"...and remember, son - every now and then, refuse to eat your dinner no matter how good it looks or how hungry you are. It drives the dumb humans crazy!"

'As a baby sitter, you shouldn't think of me as a bratty kid...think of me as a jobs creator!'

'You just stood there and let them put a bell on you? -- What were you THINKING?'

I'm sure it's here somewhere!

'I got caught cribbing from Charley Jones' laptop!'