Morgue Mischief Master Gifts

Make-your-own-fun at the morgue.

"Have you been eating the paste again, Todd?"

"Mr. Johnson, Bob is kicking me under the table!"

Newt sale

'No, you can't use your last wish, to wish for another three wishes!'

'Guess what I'd like to see disappear next.'

"How the heck could you forget your sword?"

Houdini's infancy.

"So which one of you pesky dogs stole the last cookie from the bottom of the jar?"

"I've just discovered this brilliant new ingredients."

Knights

God creates humans.

For the third time that week somebody had super-glued the manager to his seat. It was great for team morale.

'... No, actually. He's short, blond and ugly.'

"Who would've thought Ms. Marcus had so little sense of humor?"

'The doctor is ready to see you, Teddy...Bring your handler!'

Desert Island Water skiing.

I wonder what the kids are up to at the lake. Your mom will keep her eyes on them. She won't let them get into trouble. Nothing gets by her! ZZZZ. Psst. My silence isn't free!

'How'd you get out of time-out??. . . Dude, if you do the crime, you do the time.'

'To err is human. To really mess up, we've got to do some planning.'

People, come on, connect the dots...NOT THOSE DOTS!

Magician conjures up a crocodile and is chased by it

'This is Jake. I'm not in now, so please leave a message...HELLO! HELLO! This is Jake! Ha! Ha! Ha! I'm just mesin' with you! I'm still NOT in!'

'Andy, I want you to put on this clown outfit and hand out balloons today.'

Frankie the discount genie

'You just stood there and let them put a bell on you? -- What were you THINKING?'

"...and remember, son - every now and then, refuse to eat your dinner no matter how good it looks or how hungry you are. It drives the dumb humans crazy!"

'As a baby sitter, you shouldn't think of me as a bratty kid...think of me as a jobs creator!'

"That's not the boiling oil, that's my casserole!"

A trap for Santa

'OK, OK, you got me. YOu just couldn't let it go, could you.'

'I got caught cribbing from Charley Jones' laptop!'

'I think you mean my alleged pranks in class.'

Kate's Evil Plan: 'I convinced her that good behavior is a stealth tactic that'll help her reach her goal to one day rule the world.'

'I never dreamed that Lady Godiva would run AGAINST me!'