Mountain Mystics Gifts

"We've been up here forty-three years - Maybe we SHOULD start looking into retirement homes."

"When was your last meta-physical?"

"Don't ask me, I never get off this darn mountain!"

"Could you go back to the front desk? The receptionist has some forms for you to fill out."

First aid in mountains

"But how do I accomplish that in 140 characters or less?"

'Which would be more Zen ? a pizza with nothing, or a pizza with everything?'

"Finally, Miss Big-Shot calls her dead mother!"

How's my enlightenment? Call 1-800-Nirvana.

'What I've learnt sitting on this mountain, alone for ten years, is how boring sitting alone on a mountain for ten years is!'

'Do you ever just feel like getting away from it all?'

'You are being haunted by the spirit of a slimmer, trimmer, you.'

'Let's have some fun - Let's order from that place that guarantees pizza delivery in thirty minutes!'

"Master, you have 175,568 unread messages in your inbox."

"Free why-fi.”

"Mom?"

"In the Game of Life, my son, the fix is in."

'It must be the altitude -- enlightenment shouldn't give you nosebleeds.'

"The meaning of life is cats."

'So then I thought, what's the idea job for a gentleman with my years of experience, wisdom and a desire to help others.'

'Becoming enlightened fifteen minutes before I did doesn't EITHER give you seniority!'

'Forget it - the nearest wi-fi hot spot is in Rangoon.'

"Oh great!...He;s a fitness guru!!"

"I'm just checkin' my email, OK! I AM NOT googling it..."

"Oh U! The German periscoper: "Ach Himmel! Dot most be der peutiful Ben Nevis of vich ve 'ave 'eard so mooch!"

"Excuse me, pal, but is this the road less traveled?"

'Let's start with the basics. Find the Red Queen!'

Ski lodge health care team.

'Government regulations are simple and explicit - ONE guru to a mountain top!'

'We only get an hour for lunch, so your best bet is to brown-bag it.'

'I hired a decorator.'

'I understand the Adirondacks are where it's REALLY happening.'

'No, I heard you snoring -- you just dreamed that you attained Nirvana.'

'... Of course, once you actually achieve enlightenment, it all gets a bit boring.'

'I've been up here almost a month now -- when do we get paid?'