Mountaineering Mystic Gifts

'I warned him about thinking the unthinkable!'

"Could you go back to the front desk? The receptionist has some forms for you to fill out."

'Let's start out with cliches and pithy slogans - and work our way up to wisdom ...OK?'

"But how do I accomplish that in 140 characters or less?"

"I'm not sure you'll want to know this."

'What I've learnt sitting on this mountain, alone for ten years, is how boring sitting alone on a mountain for ten years is!'

"Joyce! The poltergeist are having another dinner party!"

"When was your last meta-physical?"

"Free why-fi.”

"Master, you have 175,568 unread messages in your inbox."

"Ding dong means the witch is dead. Ding ding means dinner is ready."

'You are being haunted by the spirit of a slimmer, trimmer, you.'

"I started out on a molehill - What about you?"

'Let's have some fun - Let's order from that place that guarantees pizza delivery in thirty minutes!'

"I'll be right back."

'The meaning of life is heads they win, tails you lose.'

"Yes, it's half past two - is that all?"

'The spirit of Miss Tiger Lilly couldn't come this week!'

'It must be the altitude -- enlightenment shouldn't give you nosebleeds.'

"Dear Bad-Karma, to assist you at this busy time, I've drawn up a list of people you may have missed."

'Becoming enlightened fifteen minutes before I did doesn't EITHER give you seniority!'

'I'm bored...'

'Government regulations are simple and explicit - ONE guru to a mountain top!'

"Excuse me, pal, but is this the road less traveled?"

'No, I heard you snoring -- you just dreamed that you attained Nirvana.'

'... Of course, once you actually achieve enlightenment, it all gets a bit boring.'

'Forget it - the nearest wi-fi hot spot is in Rangoon.'

'I understand the Adirondacks are where it's REALLY happening.'

'Let's start with the basics. Find the Red Queen!'

"Oh U! The German periscoper: "Ach Himmel! Dot most be der peutiful Ben Nevis of vich ve 'ave 'eard so mooch!"

The Paranormal Society...

'Any sign of a yeti there, Fred?'

'Aren't the Swiss Alps wonderful this time of year, Bob? Bob?'

"You will be going on a long journey..."

Skiers