Mountain Magician Gifts

"No, not really. I could probably tell you a thing or two about the meaning of life but I would like to know where the loo is."

First aid in mountains

"But how do I accomplish that in 140 characters or less?"

'Which would be more Zen ? a pizza with nothing, or a pizza with everything?'

'I love the mountains and all, but I simply can't do this....I'm just too chicken.'

Mountain Climber With Pillow Padding.

'What I've learnt sitting on this mountain, alone for ten years, is how boring sitting alone on a mountain for ten years is!'

How's my enlightenment? Call 1-800-Nirvana.

"The majestic way they climb higher and higher until they seem to kiss the sky reminds me of the huge pile of work I have waiting for me when I get back."

"Don't be an idiot, Larry."

'Do you ever just feel like getting away from it all?'

"Master, you have 175,568 unread messages in your inbox."

"Free why-fi.”

"When was your last meta-physical?"

'Let's have some fun - Let's order from that place that guarantees pizza delivery in thirty minutes!'

"Mom?"

Pottery

You are now leaving Echo Valley - please call again!

"In the Game of Life, my son, the fix is in."

Alpine Pipe

'It must be the altitude -- enlightenment shouldn't give you nosebleeds.'

'So then I thought, what's the idea job for a gentleman with my years of experience, wisdom and a desire to help others.'

Skiing

'Becoming enlightened fifteen minutes before I did doesn't EITHER give you seniority!'

Tour guide: 'And there it IS folks! The start of Switzerland's spectacular snow-capped mountains!'

'It's a good thing everything is illusory - My keister hurts like crazy!'

'What luck, Jane. There's no line at the lift.'

"I'm just checkin' my email, OK! I AM NOT googling it..."

'I've been up here almost a month now -- when do we get paid?'

'Forget it - the nearest wi-fi hot spot is in Rangoon.'

'I understand the Adirondacks are where it's REALLY happening.'

Penguin and polar bear watching Eskimos throw snowballs.

'... Of course, once you actually achieve enlightenment, it all gets a bit boring.'

'I'm bored...'