Mountain Magician Gifts

"No, not really. I could probably tell you a thing or two about the meaning of life but I would like to know where the loo is."

First aid in mountains

"But how do I accomplish that in 140 characters or less?"

'Which would be more Zen ? a pizza with nothing, or a pizza with everything?'

'I love the mountains and all, but I simply can't do this....I'm just too chicken.'

How's my enlightenment? Call 1-800-Nirvana.

Mountain Climber With Pillow Padding.

'What I've learnt sitting on this mountain, alone for ten years, is how boring sitting alone on a mountain for ten years is!'

"The majestic way they climb higher and higher until they seem to kiss the sky reminds me of the huge pile of work I have waiting for me when I get back."

'Do you ever just feel like getting away from it all?'

"Don't be an idiot, Larry."

"Free why-fi.”

"Master, you have 175,568 unread messages in your inbox."

"When was your last meta-physical?"

'Let's have some fun - Let's order from that place that guarantees pizza delivery in thirty minutes!'

"Mom?"

Pottery

Alpine Pipe

You are now leaving Echo Valley - please call again!

"In the Game of Life, my son, the fix is in."

'It must be the altitude -- enlightenment shouldn't give you nosebleeds.'

'So then I thought, what's the idea job for a gentleman with my years of experience, wisdom and a desire to help others.'

'Becoming enlightened fifteen minutes before I did doesn't EITHER give you seniority!'

Skiing

'I understand the Adirondacks are where it's REALLY happening.'

'... Of course, once you actually achieve enlightenment, it all gets a bit boring.'

'Forget it - the nearest wi-fi hot spot is in Rangoon.'

'I'm bored...'

"I'm just checkin' my email, OK! I AM NOT googling it..."

'It's a good thing everything is illusory - My keister hurts like crazy!'

Tour guide: 'And there it IS folks! The start of Switzerland's spectacular snow-capped mountains!'

'I've been up here almost a month now -- when do we get paid?'

'Let's start with the basics. Find the Red Queen!'

Grab your helmet, Jenkins – Coach just called the trick play.

'I hired a decorator.'