Metropolitan Mystic Gifts

'I just want to know where I can find a parking space in the city centre this afternoon.'

"As I understand it, after this scaffolding comes down the city will be done."

"Siri, who’s the fairest of them all?"

"But how do I accomplish that in 140 characters or less?"

"It's a long way to Enlightenment. You might need some cash."

'... And this is Goldsmith, our futures consultant.'

"I'm not sure you'll want to know this."

'Oh, no - I have to read each tentacle - that'll be extra, of course.'

'The secret to great wealth and spiritual contentment? Ok, hold on...I think I've got an app for that..'

"Do you have an appointment?"

Wikipedia...

Madame ZuZu. Dream Interpretation. Tarot. Palms. She says the dream where I'm taking a test naked means I barely made it through school.

"Finally, Miss Big-Shot calls her dead mother!"

"There's a lot of uncertainty out there these days. Or not. Who knows?"

God's Phone

"All the celebrities come here."

'What I've learnt sitting on this mountain, alone for ten years, is how boring sitting alone on a mountain for ten years is!'

Witches of Instagram

"If the universe is expanding, that's all the more reason to get back to the city."

Melissa's Mark Prediction Service

Ill next Thursday

"Welcome aboard - That'll be your work station over there."

'I really don't know how you got here with your life line!'

'I'm a 100% consistent investor. I buy bonds when I should buy stocks when I should buy bonds.'

'The crystal ball says to buy and the 8-Ball says to sell.'

Man sees 'Palm Readings and Stock Projections' business window

"We no longer use Astrology or crystal balls. We now use algorithms to predict the future."

'Come back in two months the meaning of life can change, depending if the market is bullish or bearish.'

Yogi back in 5.

Amateur Palmist

'I think 'The Cloud' knows more thank you think.'

"Have you tried turning off your conscious mind and then turning it back on again?"

The church of our lady of wall street.

Hog Futures

'Ha Ha! Stop seeing astrally and look behind you, Bob!'