Motherhood Tales Gifts

'All I want for Christmas is my old shape back again.'

"I see that he is growing as fast as your law firm."

"Frankly, now that he's an obnoxious teenager, I find it more and more difficult to muster the urge to protect him..."

'I don't want him experiencing anything until I've totally checked it out.'

Weekday Morning Hell Bingo

"I only travelled with my umbilical cord!"

Chez Nous Menu

Man dreams of romance whilst a woman dreams of romance and babies.

"No wonder babies are born screaming. I haven't had a wink of sleep since the exit light came on!"

"Your mother called to remind you to diversify."

'She finds it really easy to juggle her kids with her career now she's joined the circus.'

'I'm keeping a scrap book. All I've got so far is one umbilical cord.'

1847 - Bram Stoker, creator of Dracula was born in Dublin.

Doris K. Elston: Brain Surgeon, Professional Model, Artist, Lawyer....Plus Mother of Four.

"I'm not eating cookies before dinner. I'm having cookies for dinner!"

'Are you pregnant? How do you know? You look terrible!'

Mother Nature

"It's so nice to finally put a face to the name."

Fertility goddess. Nanny goddess.

"I told you. . . use your inside miming."

No kicking: 12-6 Mon-Sun

"We're ecstatic about our new au pair."

"He's such a fussy eater."

"Sarah has two mommies and both of them are good cooks."

"Be sure and eat your frozen vegetables."

Downloading Pregnancy

I love my family!

"When I was young my parents couldn't afford to give me too much, too soon."

"I actually had this haircut before I became a mom."

A Mix Up Between the Buggy and Lawn Mower.

Fitness Programme for babies

"Sorry Tina, I won't be able to come over: Joey is finally asleep and I don't dare move..."

"Listen. Nobody's cuter than anyone else! You're all equally cute!"

Men explained.

'A generous layer of vaseline makes an excellent tickle repellent!'