Parenting Tales Gifts

"I told my mom either the sitter goes, or I go!"

"I know what this is, it's what mum and dad call 'working from home'...

'He licked all my tongue depressors.'

Polly, want a cracker, but Polly need a glass of wine.

Children should be seen and not a herd.

'But, Mom, being good just doesn't work for me.'

"Oh well, if you really want to see some scary chest thumping, come with me now and I'll show my school report to my dad..."

'All I want for Christmas is my old shape back again.'

They Removed my Brain.

'I know how you like things to be clean, so I gave fishy a bath!"

"Your father dressed you, didn't he?"

"Yes, the French only eat the legs, but we're not French! We eat the whole frog!"

'Oh, for heaven's sake. Ethan's having another growth spurt.'

"I told you I was too old to have a baby."

'Look at big woosy Sid, pushing his pram with two hands!'

"Look at that adorable mother and baby! I haven't changed a diaper in years."

"And Billy will have the Stomach Stable-Buster."

Dear, I think Alayna needs to be burped again.

"No thanks, mom. I'm on a vegetable free diet."

"Daddy has to clear his head for a few minutes before he can deal with 'Babar'."

'My little boy broke my violin.'

'He came back home. Ran out of money.'

"Listen, kid...I'm doing you a favor... Don't call here again for at least another 10 years."

'You're taking the baby to daycare? Great! I'm way late for work!'

"Back in my day, we wore masks, stayed six feet apart, and lived for the moments in between panic attacks."

"Oh no, when I tell my dad, she'll go ballistic!"

'You never knew your father -- he got his head stuck in a tuna can.'

'The novelty's sort of worn off with the first one so we thought it was time to have another.'

"Do you have something more befitting a 6th grader?"

"Fifteen years ago asked for diapers, and -- viola! -- here we are."

"This was Freddy, the neighbor boy. He went to jail for something he didn't do. He didn't wipe his fingerprints off the safe."

"It's worse than you think, doctor - his dad's supper is in there."

"Yes, mom, I forgot my towel. Now I need an exit strategy!"

Ah, here she comes. I hear the pitter patter of tiny fingers texting down the hall.

'You'll never learn to walk if you don't FOCUS!'