Modern Parenting Tales Gifts

Ah, here she comes. I hear the pitter patter of tiny fingers texting down the hall.

"Actually, it is a bad time — I’m rushing to get the kids out of the oven."

'He's not talking yet, but his texting skills are excellent...'

"Hang on. Mommy's just checking to see if she's still relevant to the outside world."

"So, when he says, 'What a good boy am I,' Jack is really reinforcing his self-esteem."

Amazon Drones Delivering Babies

"Oh, Frank, look! He's sending his first tweet!"

A child sitting on a swing - while playing with a hand-held electronic device or phone

"He just said his first word!"

"Do you want to talk about it?"

"Use your inside scream."

'Those are my triplets. Com, Net and Org Barnes.'

"Never mind Benjamin – he just lawyers-up to get attention."

Kid is 'Born to Text'.

"Is the Itsy Bitsy Spider obsessive-compulsive?"

"With the baby-cam, there is no privacy."

"I told my mom either the sitter goes, or I go!"

"I brought frankincense." "I brought gold." "I brought diapers!" "A wise woman!"

You're right-this is way better than a standing desk.

"Now, Mrs. Stevens, go to work, relax, and leave the social engineering to us."

'Have you googled me to see how old I was when I was born?'

'I don't care if an app on your phone is monitoring you, you still need a baby sitter when your father and I are gone.'

"They're a very hi-tech family. Apparently, even their baby was cordless."

'Mom, I need a push.'

'He's already surfing without nappies!'

"Wasn't it your turn to drop him to online school?!"

"Santa said to stop making toys. From here on out we'll be making computers and phones. Does anyone know anything about technology?"

"Are we there yet? Are we there yet?..."

'Sending someone to his room was a punishment when I was a kid.'

Phone Mittens

"We're going to start with the birds and the bees and then work our way up to the new reproductive technologies."

'I'm so glad this bedtime story comes in audio.'

'Jimmy made his first blog post today.'

Big book of memes

"They grow up so fast. From Mother Goose to Google."