Motherhood Moments Gifts

His First Ache.

"Oh, there will be an investigation!"

"Frankly, now that he's an obnoxious teenager, I find it more and more difficult to muster the urge to protect him..."

"I'm so good at this!"

Open other end

'Don't worry about gaining weight after the baby - you'll run it off during the toddler years.'

'All I want for Christmas is my old shape back again.'

"Your mother says 'wear a bra'."

Doctor has the taste for patients urine samples.

Biological Alarm Clock.

Proud mother and new maid

Pelvis birth canal exit: Width restrictions apply.

"Hi - Mom? Going to Kayla's house? Thanks!"

'You dance like my mother.'

'She's the primary caregiver!'

"YOUR mother? - Let me tell you about MY mother...."

Single parents.

"It's a special place where they check the eyes in the back of their heads."

'We can't win. Mum keeps telling us to play quietly, and when we do, she thinks we're up to something!'

'I seem to have lost the body I had before I had children.'

young mother with a baby being bombarded by advice on parenting from older mothers

'It's no use he just doesn't understand the let-down reflex!'

"You're what?!"

Today's nervous breakdown occurred yesterday.

"Now we get all our news from Nickelodeon."

'I was well-informed, well-adjusted, a useful member of society - then I married.'

"I don't mind having a bun in the oven, but I do mind not being able to set the temperature."

Two breasts: No waiting

'Apparently this is called 'Nesting'.'

"I think Mom needs a tune-up."

"Me and my husband had to try sixteen times before I became pregnant... What a night that was!"

'Look, he's taking his first steps.'

'Oh, sure, you can dish it out, but you can't take it.'

'Doctor, a stress test is something I don't need. I have a husband and four children.'