Motherhood Moments Gifts

His First Ache.

"Oh, there will be an investigation!"

"Frankly, now that he's an obnoxious teenager, I find it more and more difficult to muster the urge to protect him..."

"I'm so good at this!"

'Don't worry about gaining weight after the baby - you'll run it off during the toddler years.'

Open other end

Doctor has the taste for patients urine samples.

"Your mother says 'wear a bra'."

'All I want for Christmas is my old shape back again.'

Biological Alarm Clock.

Proud mother and new maid

Waiting Room

Pelvis birth canal exit: Width restrictions apply.

"Hi - Mom? Going to Kayla's house? Thanks!"

"It's a special place where they check the eyes in the back of their heads."

'She's the primary caregiver!'

"YOUR mother? - Let me tell you about MY mother...."

Single parents.

'You dance like my mother.'

'Your mommy is here as you requested, sire, to check for monsters under your throne!'

'We can't win. Mum keeps telling us to play quietly, and when we do, she thinks we're up to something!'

'I seem to have lost the body I had before I had children.'

'It's no use he just doesn't understand the let-down reflex!'

young mother with a baby being bombarded by advice on parenting from older mothers

Today's nervous breakdown occurred yesterday.

"You're what?!"

"Now we get all our news from Nickelodeon."

'I was well-informed, well-adjusted, a useful member of society - then I married.'

"I don't mind having a bun in the oven, but I do mind not being able to set the temperature."

National Mom Monument.

'Apparently this is called 'Nesting'.'

"I think Mom needs a tune-up."

Two breasts: No waiting

'Oh, sure, you can dish it out, but you can't take it.'

"Me and my husband had to try sixteen times before I became pregnant... What a night that was!"