Mother-child Banter Appreciator Pillows

"Well, maybe you want crackers Mum, but frankly, given the choice, I would prefer chocolate cake..."

"Boy, do we hate to see this... I'm afraid your child's entire body is an 'innie'."

In case of Emergency: Break Glass

"I never subscribed to Hobbes' state of nature theory until the night we left the kids without a sitter."

'I knew you would come crawling back.'

'Mom is feeling sick. She caught a baby.'

"Your mother says 'wear a bra'."

Martians looking at Earth - 'One day son, all this will be yours.'

"No dessert until you eat all your candy."

'My wife and I can't have dogs!'

'Next time your kid has a party, blow up the balloons with an airpump!'

"Whadd ya wanna be for Halloween, Bro?"

'Daddy's busy - Go draw on the wall.'

'Well, put a jumper on if you're cold!'

'Before you return Principal Harris's phone call, I would like to remind you that having a 'living' dependant is an excellent tax deduction.'

"Has your mother called yet on the international situation?"

"I can't use the computer tonight -- Dad has to scroll to his year of birth."

"Now pay attention when mother is speaking, Hubert!"

Kate's Evil Plan: 'Danae...I got a letter from your teacher today...she say's you've been very well-behaved lately...and is worried about what you're really up to.'

Mobile Phone Mobile.

"I think our daughter got her brains from me."

'The more you drink the more I produce.'

'We just have to stop meeting like this!'

'Mother knows best, Dear, so stop rolling your eyes.'

Two breasts: No waiting

'Come on. You've been nursing that pint for hours!'

"My mom still makes all my clothes by hand."

Baby Going to Toilet on Father.

I'm almost full grown, you've got to stop treating me like a kid!

Ask your mother.

'Look Mummy: I've pu on my shell all by myself...'

"Today you're an ugly duckling, but one day you'll turn into a gawky adolescent duck."