Parent Appreciating Humor Pillows

Eww, no way, mom! Do you know what's in those things?

Striving to reduce our dependence on fossil fuels, scientists attempt to harness the energy of a toddler's tantrum.

"Actually, I'm really looking for blessings that aren't in disguise"

"This is where baby gets some alone time."

"Boy, do we hate to see this... I'm afraid your child's entire body is an 'innie'."

In case of Emergency: Break Glass

'Your wife has given birth to the blues.'

"I never subscribed to Hobbes' state of nature theory until the night we left the kids without a sitter."

'I must be going through a mid-life crisis.'

The Wright brothers discover the first nightmare flight

'I knew you would come crawling back.'

'Well it's your fault for wearing my slippers.'

The inventor of the Slip 'n Slide becomes a father.

"How come I always get the crying baby right behind me?"

"It makes sense when you see the second painting with the lego."

"It's from the children. They'd like us to let them in."

Ultra Sound/Downloading.

'Dad, can you teach me to swim?' 'Well, I'm not much of a swimmer, but I can teach you to tread water. I do that every day at work.'

Martians looking at Earth - 'One day son, all this will be yours.'

'Next time your kid has a party, blow up the balloons with an airpump!'

'Daddy's busy - Go draw on the wall.'

'My wife and I can't have dogs!'

'Now, all I need is a bird.'

"No dessert until you eat all your candy."

'The baby took some cellphone pictures of you napping!'

Baby eating "Uploading", Baby on toilet "Downloading"

"The fish isn't renewable, but I know the fisherman has 6 kids and counting."

'Actually the twins are not hard to tell apart. When I put them down, the one that cries is Dennis.'

Kate's Evil Plan: 'Danae...I got a letter from your teacher today...she say's you've been very well-behaved lately...and is worried about what you're really up to.'

'If you're too hot, get back in the water: I'm not buying you ice cream!'

Is it true kids your age lie 14 times a day? That's outrageous! Yeah, mom. It's sooo off. Good to hear! 14 seems high to me. 8 sounds right.

I don't understand the way kids today express themselves and communicate. I don't understand the way kids today express themselves and communicate.

'I can't talk now Kevin. I'm under house arrest.'

"I've got 2 WONDERFUL children. 2 out of 5 isn't bad I suppose!"

'I can't sleep Dad. Tell me another scary story?'