Mortgage Satire Gifts

"The Mortgage Company is Repossessing the House!"

Spot the difference.

"Liable to flooding? Whatever gives you that idea sir?"

Estate Agent showing client his parents' house - '...and here's one from our affordable homes range'

This government special reserve fund is like a cookie jar for crooked cronies!

I think I can explain what happened to your investment, with the use of this simple chart.

'I today's market news, Greed roared back.'

'Did you auction off our house on eBay?'

"This town ain't big enough for the both of us and, even if it was, I doubt either of us could afford to buy a place here given the current sellers' market."

Repossessions

A man notices the Chase logo has turned into snakes eating themselves."

Financial Bailout Required.

"I'd love to help but at the moment I'm saddled with this enormous mortgage."

'How about a reverse-reverse mortgage? In a reverse-reverse mortgage, no one pays anyone anything, and no one seems to care.'

'I'm sorry, but without a significant deposit, we can't give you a mortgage.'

The Recession Hole.

"Can I suggest a hoarder's house? It's perfect for a young family of rats to move in and share with the current owner..."

Private Healthcare

"Our flag means debt."

This is our proposal for your new housing development. We've chosen to call it The Meadows.

'Goldman Sachs defrauds the world!'

'Financial services at your service - I recommend transferring your money to me - no fee.'

Foreclosure

'Mr. Jones? I've found a house that fits your funds perfectly! It even has a little garden!'

"We won't be mailing out our quarterly report. Our profits were obscene and postal regulations prohibit mailing obscene material."

'The house has been repossessed by the Devil ...'

"Bloody building society keeps hassling us about the mortgage payment."

Get rich today with cold fusion tomorrow! Invest now!: 'More like con - fusion! He's a con artist!'

'We did have a house in your bracket, but we sold it in 1932.'

'We're not allowed to employ bankers anymore.'

'I'm sorry but I need your bed. I've just been kicked out my flat.'

'Of course, you'll be paid a generous scapegoat bonus.'

The Big Economic Fix Is On: All the so-called safety nets will be as useless as a hard hat in a crowbar storm.

'Good and bad news, sir. In lieu of a bailout, they're giving us a telethon.'

"We have the perfect plan for you. It's the mortgaged to the eyeballs plan."