Mortgage Humor Enthusiast Gifts

'How about a reverse-reverse mortgage? In a reverse-reverse mortgage, no one pays anyone anything, and no one seems to care.'

British savings accounts

Do you mind if we stop calling this a "starter house" now?

America's Funniest Interest Rate Hikes

"You have to declare what you rob from the rich, but you can deduct what you give to the poor."

Tidy it up for the open house, and it wouldn't hurt to put out some freshly regurgitated worms. For sale.

'. . .actually I'm not a real Guru, I was forced up here originally by the property prices.'

'Now let's proceed downstairs and see where our stock shares presently sits,'

Out of control

"At least we're consistent ... "

'Our fund lost millions, but the good news is our management fees are not based on performance.'

Bank notes coming out of a safe.

The Decline of the Euro.

Realtors: 'We make house calls'.

An exaggeration of estate agents

'Someday, Son, all this will be your ex-wife's.'

'Now from this room you can get a great view of the whales going by!'

'We do have a property in your price range, but we need a time machine to go back and visit it!'

'Due to current market conditions, I'm recommending that my clients invest heavily into pain medication companies.'

'Now, it does require some modernisation. . . .'

'We stopped to smell the darn roses here!'

'The only means of access was via the previous tenant's hair. But not to worry, there's a ladder 'round the back.'

Ireland and its Celtic Tiger request some donations

Budget Cuts

"I'm afraid with your income I couldn't possibly approve a loan of that size. Would you like a list of our approved loan sharks?"

"Efficiency tombs available"

Repossessions

Inflation is a national headache. . . caused by asset indigestion!

"I've downsized."

'The market dropped on the news some IRS refund checks said 'do not cash until next Friday'.'

"The high price is due to the great view of the beach."

"I see you have the latest in accounting software."

"How much do I need? How much you got?"

'Is the fire included?'

'You won't feel a thing. We make a small incision in your wallet and...'