Loan Humor Enthusiast Gifts

'Aren't you afraid of inaccuracies on your credit report?'

British savings accounts

'The check is in the email attachment.'

America's Funniest Interest Rate Hikes

Our Motto: Buy Low Sell High is the Best Revenge.'

"You have to declare what you rob from the rich, but you can deduct what you give to the poor."

'Now let's proceed downstairs and see where our stock shares presently sits,'

"At least we're consistent ... "

Out of control

'What do you mean, the chart resembles an iceberg?'

'A temporary solution would be to white out this part of the chart.'

'Our fund lost millions, but the good news is our management fees are not based on performance.'

'Eureka! I found the gene that causes people to sell low and buy high!'

'Oh that's weird! i just had a shiver go down my wallet. My wife must have just bought something.'

The Decline of the Euro.

"Cook the books al dente so the auditor will have a little something to crunch."

Bank notes coming out of a safe.

"The interest rate can't go any lower, so if necessary, we'll have to go back to pounds of flesh."

In case of falling markets break glass.

'Due to current market conditions, I'm recommending that my clients invest heavily into pain medication companies.'

Ireland and its Celtic Tiger request some donations

Federal Guidelines

'We stopped to smell the darn roses here!'

"It's part of a deal I worked out with the I.R.S."

'We don't care if it's a boy or a girl, as long as it's a tax deduction.'

'The market dropped on the news some IRS refund checks said 'do not cash until next Friday'.'

"I see you have the latest in accounting software."

Inflation is a national headache. . . caused by asset indigestion!

"Let us pray for the possessed...and the re-possessed"

"I'm afraid with your income I couldn't possibly approve a loan of that size. Would you like a list of our approved loan sharks?"

Budget Cuts

'Greece is up for auction on eBay - and there's no bidders.'

"At least we no longer have the pressure of handling so much money."

The classic 'large scale corporate raider' eventually, they end up catching themselves!!

"How much do I need? How much you got?"