Loan Humorist Gifts

'That concludes the list of students with outstanding grades. And now for those of you with outstanding student loan payments...'

"Does this mean my loan has not been approved?"

'Can I see someone about a loan?. . . Okay, I'll see Tonto then.'

'You're not smiling, Stan. I guess my credit is a horror story.'

'The first thing I gotta do is pay off my loan. My roommate loaned me 6 bucks last week for beer.'

"No, you may not borrow a cup of money!"

"Monsieur, si vous plaît. I'm sure I ordered the fusilli and not the Fusilier."

A Copy Editor and His Dog

Will work for ETFs

"The numbers don't lie . . . but we do."

'City Traders - The Complete Menagerie'

Orchestra Class Air Guitar.

'The Truth-in-advertising people want us to call ourselves the 'Sluggish Fund Group'.'

Restaurant. One thing you can still get for a single dollar is the waiter's opinion of you.

Of course, the rent on the fourth floor is considerably higher.

Credit Crunch Corn Flakes.

'I understand they specialize in acquisitions.'

Paper Profits Break Glass In Case of Emergency.

'If you're out of quarterly earnings, I'll take the assets and liabilities breakdown.'

'Actually, they're a hybrid. They are a blue-chip, common stock.'

'If you must know... I got the ten-million-dollar bonus this year because... instead of losing 15-million-dollars, we could of possibly lost much, much more!'

'When we all get together, we sure are vulgar.'

'Give me something that will restore my faith in Equities . . .'

'I'd recommend against investing in hog futures - what sort of future could a hog have?'

Proud Parent Of A Medical School Student With Huge Debt.

'Your mortgage is under water...so what's the problem?'

Employment Agency. I didn't hire him -- Those bipedal guys are are afraid to get their hands dirty.

No, that's "Virginia Wolf" with one "o."

General Motors.

Vegan Restaurant: ''amburgers! Sausages! RISSOLES!'

"Any chance of a couple of crumbs?"

"Okay, it if makes you feel better...yes, I have stock in a banana company."

'Long term I like energy and transportation stocks. Short term I like lottery tickets.'

'Worldcon' - financial statement fraud exposed.

'Instead of jail time, our head of finance chose the stock option.'