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'How about a reverse-reverse mortgage? In a reverse-reverse mortgage, no one pays anyone anything, and no one seems to care.'

British savings accounts

America's Funniest Interest Rate Hikes

"You have to declare what you rob from the rich, but you can deduct what you give to the poor."

'Now let's proceed downstairs and see where our stock shares presently sits,'

'. . .actually I'm not a real Guru, I was forced up here originally by the property prices.'

"At least we're consistent ... "

Out of control

'Our fund lost millions, but the good news is our management fees are not based on performance.'

Realtors: 'We make house calls'.

The Decline of the Euro.

An exaggeration of estate agents

Bank notes coming out of a safe.

'Someday, Son, all this will be your ex-wife's.'

'Now from this room you can get a great view of the whales going by!'

'We do have a property in your price range, but we need a time machine to go back and visit it!'

'Due to current market conditions, I'm recommending that my clients invest heavily into pain medication companies.'

'Now, it does require some modernisation. . . .'

'The only means of access was via the previous tenant's hair. But not to worry, there's a ladder 'round the back.'

'We stopped to smell the darn roses here!'

Ireland and its Celtic Tiger request some donations

"How much do I need? How much you got?"

Budget Cuts

"The high price is due to the great view of the beach."

"I'm afraid with your income I couldn't possibly approve a loan of that size. Would you like a list of our approved loan sharks?"

"I've downsized."

Inflation is a national headache. . . caused by asset indigestion!

'The market dropped on the news some IRS refund checks said 'do not cash until next Friday'.'

Repossessions

"Efficiency tombs available"

"I see you have the latest in accounting software."

'Is the fire included?'

'You won't feel a thing. We make a small incision in your wallet and...'

"The bank rejected my application for a 2nd mortgage. They said they didn't have 1 in my size."