Mortgage Crisis Humorists T-Shirts

Dunloanin...bank manager.

'All we can do is hope for identity theft.'

Vinnie's Repossessions: A Turtle has just had his shell repossessed

'. . .actually I'm not a real Guru, I was forced up here originally by the property prices.'

An exaggeration of estate agents

'We do have a property in your price range, but we need a time machine to go back and visit it!'

'The only means of access was via the previous tenant's hair. But not to worry, there's a ladder 'round the back.'

Repossessions

"I've downsized."

"Times are perfect for us masochists!..."

'Today a ray of hope . . .'

'This is the 'I Fell Behind On My Credit Card Payments, So They Took My Guitar Away Blues'. I'll be performing it a cappella.'

"The bank rejected my application for a 2nd mortgage. They said they didn't have 1 in my size."

'I think we're going to have to add another storey downstairs...'

"The only thing we seem to have in your price range is a bird box in Billericay."

"He is stingy. If he is giving gold it's only because prices have hit rock-bottom..."

'Due to budget cutbacks, we need to get by with less.'

Red Ink: "Busy as a bee, Ted, given the niche we've cut out for ourselves."

'I'm sorry, but without a significant deposit, we can't give you a mortgage.'

'How about a reverse-reverse mortgage? In a reverse-reverse mortgage, no one pays anyone anything, and no one seems to care.'

Borrowed 200K for mime school

'I sold my house and got what I paid for it. But you bought it in 1962.'

"It sucks being reincarnated as a snail, but at least I've finally achieved home ownership."

'He owes $30,000 for a degree in drama but right now he's not acting.'

'Excuse me, sir, I know you didn't get your bonus, your house is mortgaged to the hilt, you have two kids in college, your employer is facing bankruptcy and . . .'

"Sorry, but we're only accepting deposits at this time."

'Inflation allows you to live in a more expensive neighbourhood without even moving.'

Full Service ATM: "Do you want fries with that?"

"Okay, I can offer you a loan with a 75% interest rate and serfdom for your first born. It's a great deal and I'm only offering it because you're my son."

"It's a modest studio flat with own garden, 30 minutes from central London."

"You're moving in with us? We were going to move in with you."

'Personally, I thin the downsizing went too far.'

"We had something in your price range. . . but it was condemned!"