Morning Realist Gifts

The shock of recognition.

"Could you go back to the front desk? The receptionist has some forms for you to fill out."

Road Forks in the Road: No Way and Yes Way.

'Your salary will help you learn the lesson that life is not fair.'

"Yes, we have a retirement plan. It's called a layoff."

"This is the World Bank? Somehow, I had pictured it differently."

"It's a shame, excellent recommendations and a superb skill set but lacks the boiling hot all consuming ambition and ruthless desire for self promotion required as head of stationary procurement."

"Son, the world is full of disappointments. About 7.7 billion of them."

Depressed Businessman at Office Christmas Party.

"You can't offend me. I never mix religion or politics with reality."

"We end our Newscast with a happy story tonight."

Recession

"Have you ever given any thought to what you're going to do after all your hopes and dreams are crushed?"

'Well, that's simplified the mission statement.'

'Remember Jones, your organs are worth more to us than your intellectual property.'

Everything opens up as a new day begins.

Three years ago during a special episode of the Ask Sadie™ show, our resident octogenarian asked readers for advice about how she could deal with her midlife crisis. You should try a radical makeover. When I hit midlife, I dyed my hair, got some tattoos, and dropped 75 pounds. My husband barely recognized me when he returned from overseas. He was not happy with my "new self," so I divorced him rather than change who I'd become. It was the best decision I'd made since I cut my thieving mother out

Squeezing a tight budget...

US Dollar weakens.

"Goodbye cruel world."

'The bad news is that the dollar is down -- the good news is that nobody seems to have any.'

'Look at my new overdraft its fantastic.'

'Management doesn't think we have a staffing problem...Apparently all we need to do is to use our imagination.'

"I need the saw again."

Hang fire on the Champas. Just a glimpse of green roots, so, a small glass of sherry.

'On jobless...on foreclosed...on worry and insomniac!'

"What happened to consumer confidence?"

"So this sense of failure stems from the fact that you're not catching any worms despite getting up early?"

'I'm sorry I have to let you go but since this a global economy, you may rotate back here someday.'

Businessmen looking at a green shoot.

Stock market full recovery?

'I remember when feeling the pinch just meant sexual harassment,'

Top AIG executives agree to give back bonuses.

"The glass is half full."

'yes, up every day at dawn, but there was a shameful time as a teenager when I used to sleep in until noon sometimes...'