Morning Philosopher Gifts

'Monday morning is the new Friday night.'

'yes, up every day at dawn, but there was a shameful time as a teenager when I used to sleep in until noon sometimes...'

'For Mervyn, Mornings Were A Time Of Quiet Introspection'

'My marriage improved since I don't wake up grouchy in the morning. I let him sleep till noon.'

"I woke up in a strange marriage with my clothing off."

Long tattoo on arm of man drinking coffee reads, "Born to go binge-drinking, get pierced and tattooed, then wake up the next day really annoyed at myself for being such an idiot!"

Morning after pils

"The overthinker"

Sally woke up with a headache. This house didn't look familiar. There was a rug burn on her forehead. Three good reasons to quit drinking.

"Ideas that jump from noggin when head not yet screwed on."

"I'd go with French Impressionist. It evokes the burnished golds of autumn leaves and the bittersweet regrets of lost love. It's also on special."

Using Frank Drake's famous equation, Betty calculates the probability of finding intelligent life on a Saturday night.

"Is this a bad time for our feedback meeting?"

"Honey, wake up. I had that dream again where I wake up and you get angry at me for waking you up."

'Does a blog count as being published.'

'How do you want your eggs, too hard or too soft?'

"Someday, son, a giant conglomerate will find a way to harness the moonlight and make us pay for it."

Starving Philosophy student grappling with the question of the toast in the machine.

"I also have trouble sleeping. I don't understand why. No one I talk to seems to have any trouble falling asleep."

Man in boat sees clock rising in distance instead of the sun.

'No, the Tower of Babel wasn't built for better phone reception.'

"You could always make me laugh but you didn't."

Expired, expired, expired, expired, expired, expired.

"Pot of gold?! Nobody uses cash these days! Do you fancy a couple of gift cards?"

Tomorrow's another day, he thought, unless I get lucky and sleep right through it.

Moral Fruit and Fiber Cereal

"Doesn't it make sense to move Casual Friday to Monday?"

Toast with faces popped up from toaster.

Thoughts of Stephen Harper...

Sugar-coated riboflavin yellow #5 fructose surbosic-carboblutonic flakes.

"I got the bagel less everythinged, and that has made all the difference."

'I waste Sunday worrying about Monday, so I compensate by making Friday my Saturday.'

"None of this news seems 'fit to print' to me!"

'Sorry - I've got strong views on Sunday Trading!'

"Yes, Jamie -- you have an insight?"