Morning Philosopher Gifts

'Monday morning is the new Friday night.'

'yes, up every day at dawn, but there was a shameful time as a teenager when I used to sleep in until noon sometimes...'

'For Mervyn, Mornings Were A Time Of Quiet Introspection'

'My marriage improved since I don't wake up grouchy in the morning. I let him sleep till noon.'

Everything opens up as a new day begins.

"I woke up in a strange marriage with my clothing off."

Long tattoo on arm of man drinking coffee reads, "Born to go binge-drinking, get pierced and tattooed, then wake up the next day really annoyed at myself for being such an idiot!"

Morning after pils

Sally woke up with a headache. This house didn't look familiar. There was a rug burn on her forehead. Three good reasons to quit drinking.

"The overthinker"

"Ideas that jump from noggin when head not yet screwed on."

"I'd go with French Impressionist. It evokes the burnished golds of autumn leaves and the bittersweet regrets of lost love. It's also on special."

Using Frank Drake's famous equation, Betty calculates the probability of finding intelligent life on a Saturday night.

"Is this a bad time for our feedback meeting?"

"Honey, wake up. I had that dream again where I wake up and you get angry at me for waking you up."

'Does a blog count as being published.'

Starving Philosophy student grappling with the question of the toast in the machine.

'How do you want your eggs, too hard or too soft?'

"Someday, son, a giant conglomerate will find a way to harness the moonlight and make us pay for it."

"I also have trouble sleeping. I don't understand why. No one I talk to seems to have any trouble falling asleep."

Man in boat sees clock rising in distance instead of the sun.

'No, the Tower of Babel wasn't built for better phone reception.'

Aw, @#$%, just go to business school. EMU. The Practical Muse.

"Pot of gold?! Nobody uses cash these days! Do you fancy a couple of gift cards?"

Expired, expired, expired, expired, expired, expired.

Tomorrow's another day, he thought, unless I get lucky and sleep right through it.

Toast with faces popped up from toaster.

Thoughts of Stephen Harper...

"You could always make me laugh but you didn't."

That's a street lamp, Steve.

"Doesn't it make sense to move Casual Friday to Monday?"

Moral Fruit and Fiber Cereal

Sugar-coated riboflavin yellow #5 fructose surbosic-carboblutonic flakes.

"At lunchtime Dr. Jones just loves taking union talk with his fellow brothers."

"So this sense of failure stems from the fact that you're not catching any worms despite getting up early?"