Morning Philosophers Gifts

"Who the hell are you?"

"So this sense of failure stems from the fact that you're not catching any worms despite getting up early?"

"Ideas that jump from noggin when head not yet screwed on."

Sally woke up with a headache. This house didn't look familiar. There was a rug burn on her forehead. Three good reasons to quit drinking.

"The overthinker"

"I'd go with French Impressionist. It evokes the burnished golds of autumn leaves and the bittersweet regrets of lost love. It's also on special."

Using Frank Drake's famous equation, Betty calculates the probability of finding intelligent life on a Saturday night.

'Any chance these are available in paperback?'

"Let's go to sleep so that when we wake up today will be tomorrow."

'Does a blog count as being published.'

'How do you want your eggs, too hard or too soft?'

Starving Philosophy student grappling with the question of the toast in the machine.

Feel Like A Contributing Member of Society....

"Sorry - I've got to take this..."

"I also have trouble sleeping. I don't understand why. No one I talk to seems to have any trouble falling asleep."

'No, the Tower of Babel wasn't built for better phone reception.'

"Doesn't it make sense to move Casual Friday to Monday?"

Toast with faces popped up from toaster.

Expired, expired, expired, expired, expired, expired.

Moral Fruit and Fiber Cereal

"Pot of gold?! Nobody uses cash these days! Do you fancy a couple of gift cards?"

"I really gotta turn off these notifications."

"You could always make me laugh but you didn't."

Tomorrow's another day, he thought, unless I get lucky and sleep right through it.

Sugar-coated riboflavin yellow #5 fructose surbosic-carboblutonic flakes.

"None of this news seems 'fit to print' to me!"

"I got the bagel less everythinged, and that has made all the difference."

"Yes, Jamie -- you have an insight?"

'Sorry - I've got strong views on Sunday Trading!'

'I waste Sunday worrying about Monday, so I compensate by making Friday my Saturday.'

'We only get an hour for lunch, so your best bet is to brown-bag it.'

'Sometimes I think you don't listen to a word I say!'

"No, son - the love of Monday is not the root of all evil."

Fatalism and the Seeds of Doubt

"Did he give it all to the poor, or just the after salary and expenses part?"