Morning Philosophers Gifts

Good morning! I'm the vulture of happiness! Ray realizes it's going to be one of those days

"Who the hell are you?"

"So this sense of failure stems from the fact that you're not catching any worms despite getting up early?"

"The overthinker"

Sally woke up with a headache. This house didn't look familiar. There was a rug burn on her forehead. Three good reasons to quit drinking.

"Ideas that jump from noggin when head not yet screwed on."

"I'd go with French Impressionist. It evokes the burnished golds of autumn leaves and the bittersweet regrets of lost love. It's also on special."

Using Frank Drake's famous equation, Betty calculates the probability of finding intelligent life on a Saturday night.

"Let's go to sleep so that when we wake up today will be tomorrow."

'Any chance these are available in paperback?'

'Does a blog count as being published.'

'How do you want your eggs, too hard or too soft?'

Everything opens up as a new day begins.

Starving Philosophy student grappling with the question of the toast in the machine.

Feel Like A Contributing Member of Society....

"Sorry - I've got to take this..."

"I also have trouble sleeping. I don't understand why. No one I talk to seems to have any trouble falling asleep."

'No, the Tower of Babel wasn't built for better phone reception.'

Toast with faces popped up from toaster.

Moral Fruit and Fiber Cereal

"Doesn't it make sense to move Casual Friday to Monday?"

Tomorrow's another day, he thought, unless I get lucky and sleep right through it.

"You could always make me laugh but you didn't."

"Pot of gold?! Nobody uses cash these days! Do you fancy a couple of gift cards?"

"I really gotta turn off these notifications."

Expired, expired, expired, expired, expired, expired.

Sugar-coated riboflavin yellow #5 fructose surbosic-carboblutonic flakes.

'I waste Sunday worrying about Monday, so I compensate by making Friday my Saturday.'

'Sorry - I've got strong views on Sunday Trading!'

"None of this news seems 'fit to print' to me!"

"I got the bagel less everythinged, and that has made all the difference."

'We only get an hour for lunch, so your best bet is to brown-bag it.'

"Yes, Jamie -- you have an insight?"

'Sometimes I think you don't listen to a word I say!'

"No, son - the love of Monday is not the root of all evil."