Money Realist Gifts

'The cost of living is always the same, all you have and a little more.'

"Of course money can't buy happiness - happiness comes free with the money."

Road Forks in the Road: No Way and Yes Way.

Cheeze Wiz.

'Your salary will help you learn the lesson that life is not fair.'

World Production.

"Son, the world is full of disappointments. About 7.7 billion of them."

"It's a shame, excellent recommendations and a superb skill set but lacks the boiling hot all consuming ambition and ruthless desire for self promotion required as head of stationary procurement."

'I'm going to have to give up drinking and drugs when I leave uni - to pay off my bank loan.'

'But I do have fun. I have lots lots of fun. I have lots of fun making money.'

Platitudes for the hopelessly realistic. When life gives you lemons, get a gift receipt.

"Have you ever given any thought to what you're going to do after all your hopes and dreams are crushed?"

'I just happened to be in the right place at the right time to make CEO.'

'Good news, Mr. Blume! Your condition isn't serious - just expensive.'

'Mr. Barnes was going to interview you for the job, until he realized you were actually expecting financial compensation, benefits and vacation time.'

"I'm not particular, I'll take any job that will replace a human."

'I've fired the entire company except you, Jerkins. You'll have more work without pay, but you do have job security.'

'Remember Jones, your organs are worth more to us than your intellectual property.'

"Financial Adviser advises client 'I advise you that you're broke'."

"Now that's power."

'What do you mean the FDA is going to start regulating the use of eyes of Newts?'

"I see fleeting moments of happiness in between extended periods of boredom and stress."

We've been pre-approved by the credit card company to give them a loan.

Warning Being Alive On This Planet May Cause Cancer

'Management doesn't think we have a staffing problem...Apparently all we need to do is to use our imagination.'

"Wanting to view it after taxes will cost you another wish."

"Monogamy? In this economy?"

"A glimmer of hope is fine, Hendricks, but anything more than that will lead to massive disappointment."

"Happiness is more important than money,but it is easier to count money."

"The increase in our budget has allowed you the luxury of a company vehicle. Enjoy."

'That does it. . . Little Freddie is not going to law school! He's going to become an oncologist, Mary a gerontologist and Stevie a pharmacist! We'll be covered!'

'Kids, come quick! Santa's been here and he left all kinds of super expensive, super cheap stuff!'

Blood is thicker than water. Oil is thicker yet.

Dollar: Warning - May cause excessive greed, loss of human empathy and disregard for vital environmental systems.

'With all due respect for your horoscope, your loan payment is still due today.'