Budget Realist Gifts

"The increase in our budget has allowed you the luxury of a company vehicle. Enjoy."

"These are the principal qualities we're looking for in our new recruits."

Road Forks in the Road: No Way and Yes Way.

"Gas. Regular. Premium. Super. You don’t want to know."

'According to the budget, we'll have to count on body heat to keep the offices warm.'

'Sorry guys... budget cuts !'

"Defense budget... Do you have any idea how much catnip $700 billion would buy?"

"Son, the world is full of disappointments. About 7.7 billion of them."

"It's a shame, excellent recommendations and a superb skill set but lacks the boiling hot all consuming ambition and ruthless desire for self promotion required as head of stationary procurement."

"I'm on a tight budget. Make it look like I cut at myself."

'The scariest story I know is escalating health care costs.'

"I hate this time of year."

"Well you said you wanted a simple, cheap solution!" (IT Solutions).

'Our new simplified energy bills just have a few options starting with 'Grossly inflated' and progressing to the premium 'Bloodsucker' package. . .'

"Have you ever given any thought to what you're going to do after all your hopes and dreams are crushed?"

'If only you could do this with a cow once in a week, we'd save a lot of money for the food delivery service, Rupert!'

'So far, all I can tell you for sure is how much I've charged you.'

'Remember Jones, your organs are worth more to us than your intellectual property.'

'I said we've got to lift up our numbers! I did not say to turn a loss of 150.000,- into a loss of 280.000,-!!'

'Before we unload him, he'd like a written price support.'

'The operation we want you to do is to remove 25 from our budgets.'

Med. Soc Sec. Can we agree on anything to reduce the deficit other than a bake sale?

"This is a third-year medical student. To cut costs, your insurance company dismissed the surgeon."

"There's no getting away from the numbers....only by forgetting holidays, giving up drink, the cinema, meals out and socialising...will we be able to afford any quality of life when we retire."

"Yes dear. But, I don't think you're actually supposed to dispose of your disposable income."

"On our budget, I'm glad the Keebler Elves were available."

"Well, if there is life on Mars, how come they haven't asked us for money?"

"... And how are you enjoying the cheapest bottle of wine on the menu?"

'Management doesn't think we have a staffing problem...Apparently all we need to do is to use our imagination.'

Take one Per Day as Affordable.

'Of course, that bid's just an estimate.'

'Actually, the bill is part of your reality therapy.'

Sam's Nation Building

"Listen, Baldo, I know what you're thinking...but as part of the management team, I can say with all confidence that your job is safe."

"We're going to spend £5M to put over the message that our product is so good it sells itself!"