Budget-believer Gifts

'My new book is a perfect fit for 'Austerity Britain', it's incredibly cheap...but you do have to write it yourself.'

"These are the principal qualities we're looking for in our new recruits."

"Gas. Regular. Premium. Super. You don’t want to know."

'According to the budget, we'll have to count on body heat to keep the offices warm.'

'Sorry guys... budget cuts !'

"I'm on a tight budget. Make it look like I cut at myself."

'The scariest story I know is escalating health care costs.'

'Our new simplified energy bills just have a few options starting with 'Grossly inflated' and progressing to the premium 'Bloodsucker' package. . .'

Overdraft limit.

'If only you could do this with a cow once in a week, we'd save a lot of money for the food delivery service, Rupert!'

'So far, all I can tell you for sure is how much I've charged you.'

'What if we televise government budget hearings and make them pay-per-view?'

'I said we've got to lift up our numbers! I did not say to turn a loss of 150.000,- into a loss of 280.000,-!!'

'Before we unload him, he'd like a written price support.'

'The operation we want you to do is to remove 25 from our budgets.'

"Yes dear. But, I don't think you're actually supposed to dispose of your disposable income."

"There's no getting away from the numbers....only by forgetting holidays, giving up drink, the cinema, meals out and socialising...will we be able to afford any quality of life when we retire."

Now hiring: crowdfunding expert to reduce the US budget deficit.

"... And how are you enjoying the cheapest bottle of wine on the menu?"

"Well, if there is life on Mars, how come they haven't asked us for money?"

Security/Savings

"This is a third-year medical student. To cut costs, your insurance company dismissed the surgeon."

Take one Per Day as Affordable.

'Of course, that bid's just an estimate.'

"The increase in our budget has allowed you the luxury of a company vehicle. Enjoy."

"We’ve been told to cut the drugs budget so in future Louella here will be chanting away your pain."

Sam's Nation Building

Economic Experts

I used to live payday to payday, now I live payday to three days till payday.

'I want to eat healthy food, but it takes green to eat green.'

'Or there's a budget treatment with one of our trainees...'

"I feel that just as as I think I can make ends meet, someone moves the ends!"

"Natasha cuts diagnosis costs."

"I know it's not an antique but it will be when I've finished paying for it."

Senior Brand Name Medicine Cabinet