Morning Malcontent Gifts

'Okay, Bancroft - here we go again.'

'Get up and put your house slippers on! - You'll be late for home school!'

'Get up or I'm sending in the cat.'

'Play any other position besides Monday morning quarterback?'

Mums coffee morning

Young girl asks young boy what time he wakes in the morning

Two men jogging past one another trying to get as many words in as possible.

'I just don't understand... We hate the same movies, books, art, music, friends and relatives, and we agree that the world's a hopeless mess. With all that in common, why is our marriage falling apart?'

Chris Evans

Monday Checklist.

"Rex hates getting up in the mornings."

"Dad's half asleep. He was using the fly swatter to flip the pancakes."

"I hate a sarcastic cup of coffee."

"Alexa, what fresh hell are we in for today?"

"Grrr."

"It's Monday."

A severe case of getting up on the wrong side of bed...

'Bill's alarm clocks were going off early today.'

'There's a 50% chance you won't survive the procedure. But I wouldn't worry - I get paid either way.'

'I hate Mondays!'

Let me at him! The nerve! Open the door! Monday. Frank, it's Monday --- He must've heard the things you said about him!

'A little too much to drink last night dear?'

'Well, Mr. Grumpy, who got up on the wrong side of the bed this morning?'

Behind the 8 Ball

'I got up at 5:30 once and caught a worm -- it wasn't worth it, believe me.'

'I prefer flakes.' 'Figures.'

"So this is what you do when I pretend to leave, then come back unexpectedly in five minutes."

'I said - you don't want to read YOUR stars this morning, Fred!'

Morgenmuffel

A tired rabbit wearing a dressing gown and slippers

A man eats his breakfast while staring at a TV that reads "Please stand by until we find a format for a popular 7 a.m.- 9 a.m. program."

Just a sec...

"It was an indisputable case of self-defense."

"It's time for Eric's jump start to the day."

"Look at it this way, Herb....at least the paperboy didn't throw it on the roof this time!"