Morning-after Guru Gifts

Introducing... The Everything Else Morning-After Pill!

"You look great. One problem though: I'm the one who goes to work."

Evolution of a coffee drinker.

'Everything is automatic. The coffee turns on at 7:00...They go to work at 7:25 and we go up and get in their bed.'

"Doc, you'll be glad to know I'm comfortable in my own skin today. I shed my old in the reception room."

1,572 Performances.

"As it's your birthday, would you like to go in the Big Chair?"

"You emptied your mind already? That was quick."

"Are those my slippers?!"

'Do you want toast with that?'

"Harris, I want you to buy up anything that has 'dot com' in their title."

"Hurry, I've been waiting for you."

'The Parkinson would be good PR, but should I wear the hair shirt or the sackcloth and ashes?'

"I'm more of a day owl."

"Well, it's another brand-new day. What do you say to getting up and looking the damn thing straight in the eye?"

"I still jump out of bed every morning. I just don't stick the landing as often."

"Honey, could you pass me the cow."

'Scientists have confirmed that smiling is contagious.'

'On the contrary-I quite enjoy that Monday morning feeling!'

"Good coffee."

Wall Street-Os...contains Marshmallow Shaped Bears & Bulls

"And what are those two words that motivate us each and every day?"

"As long as there's coffee, life will find a way."

'If you smiled in the mornings, you'd come up in the ratings, too.'

"Was that the crack of dawn, Arthur, or your back?"

'That's the best advice you got? There's no business like show business?'

"I think I'll be more relaxed once my secondary sex characteristics kick in."

"Oh, are you attacking from home today?"

"We're making you Breakfast in Bed."

'Good Morning!'

"Morning Gorgeous!"

"It's amazing the things you see if you wake up an hour earlier than usual!"

Come on sun! I know you can do it!

"I don't think coffee's gonna do it. You need batteries or something."

'And in a landslide, the winner of the 'Waking Up Your Owner' race...'