Good-mood Guru Gifts

'Scientists have confirmed that smiling is contagious.'

"My dad says we eat honey 'cause it has lots of vitamin Bee."

Self help acupuncture

"All I do is swim and eat plankton, but do I lose weight?"

"I spend my day prepping for a good night"

You only have time for one: Choose your fighter - Exercise, Wash Your Hair, Eat, Breathe

'No, honestly, it's just diet and exercise.'

'Eat less. Drink less. Be merry more.'

"My online account predicts the things I should own, then buys them with my credit card. It�s very convenient, but I do now need to move to a larger house."

'...when did you first get these feelings of wanting to be a psychiatrist?'

'I'm just not sure how much more I can teach you.'

'Twenty years ago I began jogging five miles a day - could you tell me where I am?'

'I'm afraid that serves you right for not wearing your safety goggles!'

Introducing... The Everything Else Morning-After Pill!

'Good news. Your cholesterol has stayed the same, but the research findings have changed.'

"I'd like to start the 'Wellness at Work' training by offering you some guidance on diet and exercise."

"Here...let me call an expert...someone who knows about these things."

'You may not feel any healthier right away, but you'll definitely feel more smug.'

'They took my Science Fair Award away. They said I ate too much fish, which is brainfood. So, it was like I was on mental steroids.'

National Academy of Sport

'When I turned 18 something started happening to me every month. I started receiving a credit card bill.'

Tired executive going into gym coming out gleaming

Congratulations on the new you!

"Still, you've got to admit our being swallowed by a fish has its humorous aspects!"

Keep Fit.

'I gotta lose some weight.'

"Eat your vegetarian or you'll go extinct!"

"You're sick of this? Just try to imagine how we feel."

"I'm going to tell them our number one way to be stress-free is taking a day off to go fishing."

'Apply that ointment as directed and call me if the growth does not reduce or it starts to talk.'

'OK. Lose weight, stop smoking, get fit, get a better job, spend more time with the kids, cut back on the booze, be better with money and buy a speed boat.'

'Doctor, how much acupuncture experience DO you have?'

'Follow this diet, and soon the temple of your soul will just be a small chapel.'

'Do you think I need to eat less. Do you have a book you could recommend to tell me how?'

"Your bedside health care book ... thanks for not reading it."