Prosperity Guru Gifts

"Money is how life says it loves you."

'He was just saying that all things come to him who waits and, sure enough, along came a lightning bolt.'

Pony express. Pony express yourself. Pony express yourself so much he left.

"Cards to remind people that you still haven’t gotten a thank you note from them"

Thank you bubbles

"Still, you've got to admit our being swallowed by a fish has its humorous aspects!"

"In my class, I'm not interested in grades. I'm interested in you becoming a better person!"

"I'm not only a Guardian Angel, I'm also an expert at turnarounds."

Always expect the best

Good coaches help people change, great coaches help the change stick...

"Is that you nomad's answer to everything...ROAD TRIP?"

Greeting card section: 'thank you' and 'you're welcome'.

'As usual, I'm right on time. My internal alarm clock always wakes me just as theses meetings are over.'

'We all have trade-offs in life, Mrs. Quigley. I wanted to be a bartender.'

Maybe I'd better write a thank you letter for the Last Supper after all

"It takes a special supervisor to admit he's wrong. So far I can admit to being a special supervisor. I'm still working on the second part."

'You have the right to remain silent and to the counsel of a motivational speaker.'

"By the way… If no one has mentioned this before, we think you're swell."

"Don't quit now, we're halfway there!"

"I'm sorry, I just don't feel like singing the blues today."

"It's amazing how far you can go with a positive attitude."

'Look at the bright side. Think of our mutual funds going up, up, up!'

"I'm in that really lazy stage that's right after denial."

Walking on Water

Man with what appears to be cheese on head to other man: 'No, it's actually a sponge. I'm excited about today's motivational seminar and I want to soak it in.'

'Scientists have confirmed that smiling is contagious.'

"I told you my lucky pennies would work."

"His latest management book was all about controlling the mind...and how you could teach it to construct a new reality..."

"I do count my blessings, but then I end up counting those of others who have more and better blessings, and that pisses me off."

Give Thanks.

Every Day is a Gift

Ballerina and the light switch.

Valentine for Guru.

'Today's sermon is on the Gospel according to old Saint Matt....'

Dan, Carla's interests include brooding over failed relationships and fending off her mother's pleas for grandchildren. Carla, Dan is terrified of commitment and has a negative bank balance."