Spiritual Guru Gifts

'Thanks for the meaning of life, but I'll still need money.'

NOW HIRING GURUS, 'I brought a resume for each reincarnation.'

Valentine for Guru.

'Just once, I'd like to be reincarnated somewhere BELOW ten thousand feet!'

'If everything is illusory, why should I listen to you?'

'It costs a lot to get it delivered out here, but I LOVE the Sunday crossword!'

'Maybe if we put an ad on Craig's List....'

'I'm on my break right now -- can you come back next February?'

'I don't know anything about Nirvana - I came up here to DIET.'

'He was just saying that all things come to him who waits and, sure enough, along came a lightning bolt.'

'The secret of life, son, is finding a better hiding place than I did.'

"Teach a man to fish, and he'll know how to fish."

'Hey! What's the big idea!?!'

Kirsten Johnson

"Is that you nomad's answer to everything...ROAD TRIP?"

"I'll match donations when you match my tax payments."

"You really are one hell of a therapy dog."

'We're facing a hostile takeover.'

Cave Man Hanging Framed Cave Paintings

"I want to be a Jockey."

Honey badger do care.

Ballerina and the light switch.

'Your problem seems to be depression or angst...Depression I charge £75 a session angst is £125.'

'Just think of me as your life coach.'

'Just think of me as your life coach.'

"And thanks to you, I have to buy myself a brand new lucky tie!"

"I'd love to, but I have a million lonely ritualistic things I need to do."

Career Guidance Office '...then again, what do I know; look where I work.'

Guru reading 'Hedonism for Ascetics'

Huldrych Zwingli (Zwinglianism)

'You mean I have to MENTOR, too?'

'It's SUPPOSED to be quiet up here!'

"Done saving the world for today."

'Yes...I found the light. Unfortunately it was that little one in the refrigerator.'

"My philosophy is to sell advice not follow it!"