Worship Guru Gifts

'I didn't think your sermon was that good!'

Tartine

Edgar Allen Poe

Carmel Buildings, Portman Square: A temperance meeting.

'He was just saying that all things come to him who waits and, sure enough, along came a lightning bolt.'

'I'm just not sure how much more I can teach you.'

"Cards to remind people that you still haven’t gotten a thank you note from them"

Decorated officer - 'And these are for keeping my pants up.'

'Uh, Dad - My wife thinks she and I should have a mountain of our own.'

Best Before 5th Pint.

At the 2021 Religious Games

"It's kind of sweet when they're all settled in like this."

Thank you bubbles

"He's my smart-aleck twin."

'The secret to great wealth and spiritual contentment? Ok, hold on...I think I've got an app for that..'

Life on Earth - The original chat room.

"welcome man cave."

Guru.

"Whine and cheezed party."

Proceed no further if chakras not aligned.

Quiz Night...

How's my enlightenment? Call 1-800-Nirvana.

"I seek enlightenment - and a way to outsource our company's tech support."

"If I had known how adult her place was I would have brought nicer beer."

'Wish you wouldn't cut your nails at bedtime!'

"I was a weirdo in this town before anyone even heard of Comic Con."

'I was trying to extinguish my ego, and I got an Out of Memory Error.'

OM, SWEET OM

Complete Makeover

"I'll match donations when you match my tax payments."

'I warned him about thinking the unthinkable!'

"You've traveled all this way just to score some pot? Okay—How much do you want?"

Greeting card section: 'thank you' and 'you're welcome'.

"To mediate properly, you need a mantra. How about 'Ka-Ching'?"

'The trouble is, once you've attained enlightenment, it's all downhill.'