Gop Guru Gifts

'I . . . pledge allegiance to gro-ver. . . I said, I . . . pledge . . . where is everybody??'

'Will you be my running mate?'

"Nation-building never works."

"Oh, I'll be bi-partisan alright, punishing both sides of the aisle."

"This is the most important election of our lifetime."

Edgar Allen Poe

'His best qualities are circumventing questions and evading answers.'

'You realize, we can't use the 'benign neglect' method for everything.'

Israel/Palestine Conflict

'I'm just not sure how much more I can teach you.'

Washington D.C., Acronym Capital of the World

"He's the chief watchdog, who watches over all the other watchdogs—but this must be his night off."

'Ah, it's so precious to witness a child learn how government actually works...'

US and the EU

At the 2021 Religious Games

"... And to our friends in the Liberal Democratic party I award thirty pieces of silver."

Trump Poutine

'Uh, Dad - My wife thinks she and I should have a mountain of our own.'

To Err Is Human, to Mess up Big-Time Is Democratic

Matryoshka/ Russian Gas Cylinders

"He's my smart-aleck twin."

'The secret to great wealth and spiritual contentment? Ok, hold on...I think I've got an app for that..'

"Let me connect you with Edith, our specialist in ethnic conflict in the former Yugoslavia. My expertise happens to be in North Korean intransigence."

Vanna White: The Later Years.

"We may have to rob from the rich AND the poor."

Sybil Obama

Guru.

Intolerable

"If you could just stop threatening to invade us every 5 minutes... that would be great."

Best Seller in Washington D.C.: Politics for dummies

'Wish you wouldn't cut your nails at bedtime!'

Viva Belarus!

"Do you ever have days when you can't seem to rise above petty politics?"

Backstabber Express: Trump

"An Iraq attack is one thing, but I'm not sure about a Persian incursion."