Gop Guru T-Shirts

'I . . . pledge allegiance to gro-ver. . . I said, I . . . pledge . . . where is everybody??'

'Will you be my running mate?'

"Oh, I'll be bi-partisan alright, punishing both sides of the aisle."

"Nation-building never works."

"This is the most important election of our lifetime."

Edgar Allen Poe

'His best qualities are circumventing questions and evading answers.'

'You realize, we can't use the 'benign neglect' method for everything.'

'I'm just not sure how much more I can teach you.'

Israel/Palestine Conflict

Washington D.C., Acronym Capital of the World

"He's the chief watchdog, who watches over all the other watchdogs—but this must be his night off."

US and the EU

'Ah, it's so precious to witness a child learn how government actually works...'

"... And to our friends in the Liberal Democratic party I award thirty pieces of silver."

Trump Poutine

'Uh, Dad - My wife thinks she and I should have a mountain of our own.'

At the 2021 Religious Games

"He's my smart-aleck twin."

Matryoshka/ Russian Gas Cylinders

'The secret to great wealth and spiritual contentment? Ok, hold on...I think I've got an app for that..'

Guru.

"We may have to rob from the rich AND the poor."

Vanna White: The Later Years.

"Let me connect you with Edith, our specialist in ethnic conflict in the former Yugoslavia. My expertise happens to be in North Korean intransigence."

Government and Opposition

"I seek enlightenment - and a way to outsource our company's tech support."

"I can't hurry when ordering. There's a lot of ecological geopolitics involved here."

Viva Belarus!

How's my enlightenment? Call 1-800-Nirvana.

"If you could just stop threatening to invade us every 5 minutes... that would be great."

'Wish you wouldn't cut your nails at bedtime!'

"An Iraq attack is one thing, but I'm not sure about a Persian incursion."