Money-juggling Parent Gifts

'One day son, all of this will be yours.'

"Well, I'm thinking about boarding school. Though I'm not sure they accept adults."

"At $4 a dozen, it's hard to balance a career and a family."

'You change him, and I'll change the tire.'

A Mix Up Between the Buggy and Lawn Mower.

Decorating with Children

'I couldn't practice last night on account of my Dad's head was gonna' explode.'

"Me? I thought you were raising them."

Apprehensive about leaving the baby with a sitter for the first time, Michelle scales back her romantic dinner with Al.

"When the new employment laws come in parenting is going to be a whole lot easier...."

The mating call of the Yellow-Throated Warbler,

The relay race

Oops.

Kids go to school and mom goes to the psychiatric clinic.

'That's enough Rusty.'

You're supposed to read him a bedtime story at HIS bedtime.

"I used to be a stay-at-home dad. It was great until I had kids."

Today's nervous breakdown occurred yesterday.

Man emerges from baby changing room, having changed his baby for a crate of beer.

"The small door's for the dog and the larger one's for the kids."

Fresh Food and Regurgitated

"Now will you knock it off with all the bird calls?"

"Mom said to put her on your 'Don't bother me I'm taking a bath' list!"

'For me, this is actually an improvement; my wife is home with our octuplets.'

"The kids were late for school and it just stayed like that."

"They can't see you right now - would you like a bottle while you're waiting?"

'It's a model to study stress...these mice all have long commutes, dead end jobs and out of control kids.'

"We put you through day-care. You're on your own now."

"We're never going to be able to give Moses a bath, are we?"

A couple leaves their child at a "Child Check" counter before entering a fancy restaurant.

"The new baby sitter said her first bad word today."

"There goes Daddy to the park again! And do you know what he does in the park? He sits! That's what he does. He sits! He goes to the park and just sits!"

'We didn't make out so well in the last round of budget cuts.'

Nappy Hour 2-3.

'Fellas, I swear I'll get you the money! Remember the money was for my kid's education.'