Juggling Family Finances Gifts

A wife, 3 kids and a girlfriend to support.

'Please tell me you're baby sitting?'

"Well, I'm thinking about boarding school. Though I'm not sure they accept adults."

'Change is inevitable, espeically when you have a newborn in diapers."

Decorating with Children

"Just think how much we could save if we switched the heating off altogether."

"Your daughter called—you promised to play phone tag with her today."

"Just because you can go around the world in one night doesn't mean you can also do your taxes that way!"

"Amazing how having a six month old baby can motivate you to stay at the office for 16 hours a day!"

'You must know my kids...they spend like there's no tomorrow.'

Little Investment on the Praire

"I have the kids Friday, Saturday, and Sunday. She has them Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday. Thursday they're free-range.

'One day son, all of this will be yours.'

Working Moms

"Mom said to put her on your 'Don't bother me I'm taking a bath' list!"

Fresh Food and Regurgitated

"The kids were late for school and it just stayed like that."

"Now will you knock it off with all the bird calls?"

"The small door's for the dog and the larger one's for the kids."

Today's nervous breakdown occurred yesterday.

'I'm exempt from the company fitness program. I have triplets at home.'

"My client, whom I shall refer to as your son, has retained me to represent him in these negotiations regarding an increase in his allowance!"

'Any annuity we can afford wouldn't pay the MILK BILL!'

'It's our 10 year plan.'

'We don't have the money for everyone to go, and, well, our luggage has never been to the Bahamas before...'

'We didn't make out so well in the last round of budget cuts.'

"There goes Daddy to the park again! And do you know what he does in the park? He sits! That's what he does. He sits! He goes to the park and just sits!"

"Papi, do we have enough net financial assets to meet essential living expenses for nine months if our source of income disappears?"

'Not a good time to ask for more allowance. They're discussing the national debt.'

'Sorry kids, we've had to introduce parenting fees.'

"Yes, we have three children. Their names are time guzzler, career killer, and cost factor."

"OK, I'll go to my room, but one day I'll get back at you by going to college and putting you into deep financial debt."

'I excuse my weight by saying I'm eating for three. Unfortunately, the twins were born months ago.'

"No matter what one says, a safe remains a good way to keep your money safe."

'And if I agreed, what sort of means would we be living within?'