Juggling Family Finances Gifts

A wife, 3 kids and a girlfriend to support.

'Please tell me you're baby sitting?'

"Well, I'm thinking about boarding school. Though I'm not sure they accept adults."

'Change is inevitable, espeically when you have a newborn in diapers."

Decorating with Children

"Just think how much we could save if we switched the heating off altogether."

"Your daughter called—you promised to play phone tag with her today."

"Just because you can go around the world in one night doesn't mean you can also do your taxes that way!"

"Amazing how having a six month old baby can motivate you to stay at the office for 16 hours a day!"

'You must know my kids...they spend like there's no tomorrow.'

Little Investment on the Praire

'One day son, all of this will be yours.'

"I have the kids Friday, Saturday, and Sunday. She has them Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday. Thursday they're free-range.

Working Moms

Fresh Food and Regurgitated

'Any annuity we can afford wouldn't pay the MILK BILL!'

"Now will you knock it off with all the bird calls?"

Today's nervous breakdown occurred yesterday.

"The kids were late for school and it just stayed like that."

"The small door's for the dog and the larger one's for the kids."

"Mom said to put her on your 'Don't bother me I'm taking a bath' list!"

'I'm exempt from the company fitness program. I have triplets at home.'

"My client, whom I shall refer to as your son, has retained me to represent him in these negotiations regarding an increase in his allowance!"

'It's our 10 year plan.'

'We don't have the money for everyone to go, and, well, our luggage has never been to the Bahamas before...'

'Sorry kids, we've had to introduce parenting fees.'

'Not a good time to ask for more allowance. They're discussing the national debt.'

"OK, I'll go to my room, but one day I'll get back at you by going to college and putting you into deep financial debt."

'We didn't make out so well in the last round of budget cuts.'

'I excuse my weight by saying I'm eating for three. Unfortunately, the twins were born months ago.'

"Papi, do we have enough net financial assets to meet essential living expenses for nine months if our source of income disappears?"

"No matter what one says, a safe remains a good way to keep your money safe."

"Yes, we have three children. Their names are time guzzler, career killer, and cost factor."

"There goes Daddy to the park again! And do you know what he does in the park? He sits! That's what he does. He sits! He goes to the park and just sits!"

'Fellas, I swear I'll get you the money! Remember the money was for my kid's education.'