Money-juggling Parent Pillows

'One day son, all of this will be yours.'

"Well, I'm thinking about boarding school. Though I'm not sure they accept adults."

"At $4 a dozen, it's hard to balance a career and a family."

A Mix Up Between the Buggy and Lawn Mower.

'You change him, and I'll change the tire.'

Decorating with Children

'I couldn't practice last night on account of my Dad's head was gonna' explode.'

"Me? I thought you were raising them."

The mating call of the Yellow-Throated Warbler,

"When the new employment laws come in parenting is going to be a whole lot easier...."

The relay race

Oops.

"I used to be a stay-at-home dad. It was great until I had kids."

'That's enough Rusty.'

Kids go to school and mom goes to the psychiatric clinic.

"The kids were late for school and it just stayed like that."

"Mom said to put her on your 'Don't bother me I'm taking a bath' list!"

"Now will you knock it off with all the bird calls?"

Fresh Food and Regurgitated

"The small door's for the dog and the larger one's for the kids."

Today's nervous breakdown occurred yesterday.

'For me, this is actually an improvement; my wife is home with our octuplets.'

Man emerges from baby changing room, having changed his baby for a crate of beer.

"They can't see you right now - would you like a bottle while you're waiting?"

'It's a model to study stress...these mice all have long commutes, dead end jobs and out of control kids.'

"We put you through day-care. You're on your own now."

"We're never going to be able to give Moses a bath, are we?"

A couple leaves their child at a "Child Check" counter before entering a fancy restaurant.

"There goes Daddy to the park again! And do you know what he does in the park? He sits! That's what he does. He sits! He goes to the park and just sits!"

'We didn't make out so well in the last round of budget cuts.'

"The new baby sitter said her first bad word today."

Nappy Hour 2-3.

'Please turn it down - Daddy's trying to do your homework.'