Monastic Muncher Gifts

Yes, I know it's only been three hours - I'm a fast faster!

"How's everything here? Let's start with your earliest childhood memories."

"Always faithful to arrive early and, of course, get the dibs on the jelly doughnuts."

'I've told you time and again, if you didn't east so fast, you wouldn't swallow so much flotsam.'

"Your moon is in the House of Pancakes."

'I see you're hacking the fridge again.'

'Gluten-free manna will come in the second salvo.'

"I just spoon-fed the media a pound of really old salmon."

"Sugar, trans fats, and an adorable dead baby lamb. Cash back?"

'You know, I could really go for a wafer-thin mint.'

'No booze, no red meat, easy on the carbs...I've given up living so I can live longer.'

"Oh, I listen to my body at meal time, but the messages aren't clear because its mouth is full!"

Pizza and Related Searches.

"They're sound bites."

"I read the Tibetan Book of the Dead, but I wasn't Enlightened. . . but I did get the munchies."

'Hello, yes, I'd like to order 200 packs of the sweets you can eat between meals.'

"The starred items are hot and spicy."

'Haven't you heard? We're not going to discuss the company picnic - this is the company picnic.'

A worm sits in comfort as he has just eaten 4 apples by himself...

A vampire using ground pepper on his new victim.

"Cemetery Pie"

I know you wanted a virgin but it's all I could find at this time on a Friday night.

"When you came down for a snack last night, did you see a plate of dog food in here?"

Monk Crossword

'We only get an hour for lunch, so your best bet is to brown-bag it.'

'OK, remain calm. Who's missing? Milk? Eggs? Cheese? Where'd they go? How much do they know? And will they talk?'

"Of course, he always says it's not fit for consumption. He's a foodie."

Meditation Munchies

"I hate how we stigmatize eating by calling it a feeding frenzy."

'Diet!...Diet!...Diet!...'

Actually, it's healthier to eat smaller meals more often throughout the day.

"I can't...I mustn't...I shouldn't...I needn't....but I will."

Al's Health Spa: You are what you eat.

"Just one menu for us, please. We don't want to overeat."

'I'm on a diet -- I only eat illusory things.'