Monastery Philosopher Gifts

'I can't decide if I should go with Derek on a trip around the world on skateboards...or go with Joe and join a monastery in Tibet! What do you think?'

"Try picking up a girl after you've renounced everything."

Quills - Sizes 1-9

''Faith can move mountains'? -- That's actually a little disturbing.'

'Exams were harder before the Renaissance.'

Trappist talk show.

Employees must cleanse souls before returning to work.

'Am I glad to be back - austerity's gone mad out there!'

Amimated illuminated Manuscript

'Kill all the Canaanites? -- Won't that set a bad precedent?'

Dear Diary

"Straighten up that tonsure."

Firemen trying to rescue a monk from a burning monastery

'What is wrong with brother Sebastian?'

'So what did you do with a problem like Maria?'

"For simplicity, we call this one Ding and that one Dong."

Two friars ringing bells

Before you learn to make the perfect ale, my son, you must first learn to make the perfect little bowl of nuts and pretzels.

"I've decided to pursue a profession where religion doesn't play such an important role."

Desert Island Gossipping

"You've got a vow of silence? How interesting! Tell me all about that!"

You're supposed to just copy it. The Archbishop says to knock off the ad libs!

'I suppose you're entitled to your opinion, but I still say that Shemp was the greatest of them all,'

"The Convent of the Immaculate Heart Brewery"

'Nothing against you, Dad, but I'd rather be a POLITICAL pundit.'

'I'm not up here seeking wisdom - this is the only place they'll let me smoke.'

'Every Lent it's the same-I've nothing to give up!'

'Hey! That's new - paternity leave!'

Cistercian 2000

'I'm going to have to take a day off - to get married!'

Chipmonks.

Halo Theft

Brother Kevin is wrecking the dorm!

"Ever worked out how much we have saved over the years by not having to buy trousers?"

Have a very calm Christmas