Monarch Enthusiasts Gifts

Henry I of England

'I need a new motto. One with 140 characters.'

'Well, they sure voted for change THAT time.'

"No, no - 'Camilla Parker Bowles'

"Not to worry, sire! It's just the farm implement trade show coming to town!"

"I'm sorry, Your Majesty. It's always my intention to leave you laughing."

'Now that's an afro!'

"It's a cage. It's gilded, and I love it."

'At this rate I'll end up with more heirs than hairs!'

King George I

'You've got to cure my sleepwalking, Doc - I keep falling into the moat!'

"She wishes to range free!"

'Fancy you doing a curtsey and she being a non-serving royal, you big dope!'

'I'd think you'd be used to having a moat by now.'

"With all due respect, Sire, the Pizza King sends his kindest regards."

The Unhappy King

'Your Grandpa achieved greatness, he thrust greatness upon me, and then you were born great!'

It started friendly enough...'I'm Henry VIII, my dear, but you may call me 'Hank'.'

"He doesn't suffer fools gladly."

"Seriously, you can't balance the budget with cushion change."

'Henry, we can't begin to make progress unless your friend leaves the room.'

'It's in my belly-button if you must know!'

"Don't even think about it! I am the property of the English Monarch!"

'He'll stop being so smug when he gets his first dent.'

Royal Love

''Depression'? -- You or the country or both?'

"Of all the labour saving devices invented in the last 70 years, this is one's favourite."

"To be fair, I think you should be very clear about the ground rules with your next jester."

'Our top theologians have studied the issue, Your Majesty, and they agree that you're damned if you do and damned if you don't.'

Everybody forgot his jubilee.

'Nobody treats the king that way and gets away with it.'

'He just outlawed his in-laws.'

'I know that you think you should be the President of this company, Your Majesty. But, you'll just have to work your way up, like I did!'

"I'm popping out for a tinkle."

Hoodies anticipate bride's choice of wedding dress.