Monarch Aficionados Gifts

King James I

"Well how about that. . . Lady Godiva bought a Harley!"

'At this rate I'll end up with more heirs than hairs!'

"She wishes to range free!"

"With all due respect, Sire, the Pizza King sends his kindest regards."

King on the toilet whilst jester laughs because the toilet paper is out of reach.

'I'd think you'd be used to having a moat by now.'

"In my own country I didn't drive a taxi."

Trading half a kingdom for a lesser steed!

It started friendly enough...'I'm Henry VIII, my dear, but you may call me 'Hank'.'

'Let it go, will you? -- That whoopie cushion incident was years ago!'

'Of all the technological advances from the last 60 years, this is one's favourite.'

'It's in my belly-button if you must know!'

"Grant them amnesty and then hang them."

'You have received a grant from the king - his secret incantation to chant over your experiments.'

"Don't even think about it! I am the property of the English Monarch!"

"I should cover your ears.I'm not very good at this.'

'Under blood type, sir, could you be a little more specific than blue?'

'Could you scoot your chair over this way a little dear?'

The Royal Wii.

'I'll have your head on a platter.'

'This year, Sire, I've created a socko narrative of scatological raillery and rollicking nihilism which ends with a sexy justification for third quarter losses.'

Frontispiece to the Artists' Catalogue.

'I know that you think you should be the President of this company, Your Majesty. But, you'll just have to work your way up, like I did!'

"And His Majesty sends you a great big kiss, too."

"I welcome the discussion."

Elizabeth II

'Your Majesty, the peasants are out of bread!', 'Then let them eat low-carb stuff.'

Cat with Crown.

'I'd like three dozen friendship cards -- this war has gone on long enough.'

I told you the King wasn't ready for irony!

'Well, you DID know this job was dangerous when you took it.'

'My son made it for me in shop class.'

"The kids - Prince Englebert and Princess Felicia - would like us to move into the olde monarchs' home."

"'Happily ever after' you want? Then you keep the house kosher!"