Monarch Aficionados Pillows

King James I

'At this rate I'll end up with more heirs than hairs!'

"She wishes to range free!"

"With all due respect, Sire, the Pizza King sends his kindest regards."

'I'd think you'd be used to having a moat by now.'

King on the toilet whilst jester laughs because the toilet paper is out of reach.

"In my own country I didn't drive a taxi."

'Let it go, will you? -- That whoopie cushion incident was years ago!'

It started friendly enough...'I'm Henry VIII, my dear, but you may call me 'Hank'.'

Trading half a kingdom for a lesser steed!

'Of all the technological advances from the last 60 years, this is one's favourite.'

'It's in my belly-button if you must know!'

'You have received a grant from the king - his secret incantation to chant over your experiments.'

"Don't even think about it! I am the property of the English Monarch!"

"Grant them amnesty and then hang them."

"I should cover your ears.I'm not very good at this.'

'Under blood type, sir, could you be a little more specific than blue?'

'I'll have your head on a platter.'

"And His Majesty sends you a great big kiss, too."

'I know that you think you should be the President of this company, Your Majesty. But, you'll just have to work your way up, like I did!'

Frontispiece to the Artists' Catalogue.

'Could you scoot your chair over this way a little dear?'

'This year, Sire, I've created a socko narrative of scatological raillery and rollicking nihilism which ends with a sexy justification for third quarter losses.'

Elizabeth II

"I welcome the discussion."

'Your Majesty, the peasants are out of bread!', 'Then let them eat low-carb stuff.'

Cat with Crown.

'I'd like three dozen friendship cards -- this war has gone on long enough.'

'He's still addressing the nation.'

"The kids - Prince Englebert and Princess Felicia - would like us to move into the olde monarchs' home."

'My son made it for me in shop class.'

"'Happily ever after' you want? Then you keep the house kosher!"

'Well, you DID know this job was dangerous when you took it.'