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Henry I of England

'I need a new motto. One with 140 characters.'

'Well, they sure voted for change THAT time.'

"No, no - 'Camilla Parker Bowles'

"I'm sorry, Your Majesty. It's always my intention to leave you laughing."

'Now that's an afro!'

'At this rate I'll end up with more heirs than hairs!'

"It's a cage. It's gilded, and I love it."

King George I

'Fancy you doing a curtsey and she being a non-serving royal, you big dope!'

"She wishes to range free!"

'You've got to cure my sleepwalking, Doc - I keep falling into the moat!'

"With all due respect, Sire, the Pizza King sends his kindest regards."

'I'd think you'd be used to having a moat by now.'

It started friendly enough...'I'm Henry VIII, my dear, but you may call me 'Hank'.'

"He doesn't suffer fools gladly."

"Seriously, you can't balance the budget with cushion change."

'Your Grandpa achieved greatness, he thrust greatness upon me, and then you were born great!'

The Unhappy King

'Henry, we can't begin to make progress unless your friend leaves the room.'

'It's in my belly-button if you must know!'

"Don't even think about it! I am the property of the English Monarch!"

'He'll stop being so smug when he gets his first dent.'

"Of all the labour saving devices invented in the last 70 years, this is one's favourite."

''Depression'? -- You or the country or both?'

Royal Love

"To be fair, I think you should be very clear about the ground rules with your next jester."

Everybody forgot his jubilee.

'Our top theologians have studied the issue, Your Majesty, and they agree that you're damned if you do and damned if you don't.'

"Someone should have warned you - he doesn't suffer fools gladly."

'But, dear -- Lady Godiva is part of my diversity program!'

"And His Majesty sends you a great big kiss, too."

'I know that you think you should be the President of this company, Your Majesty. But, you'll just have to work your way up, like I did!'

'He just outlawed his in-laws.'

"I'm popping out for a tinkle."