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King John

Royal Wedding History

King

Henry VIII

King Henry VII

Prince Charles

'Get this -- their President 'cannot tell a lie,' and they think they're ready for self-government!'

'Talk to your wife, Lord Tuttenbottom. She refused to sleep with me!'

'Sire, the people think your foreign policy is a little too foreign.'

'You've made a powerful enemy'

'And then I tried slashing the QUEEN'S budget.'

'What do you mean, you're not satisfied with your standard of living? - You're alive, aren't you?'

"Still no invitation to the Royal wedding! It wad the same when I asked to be godmother!"

"Been there, done that, got the t-shirt."

The DaVinci Code

"Well how about that. . . Lady Godiva bought a Harley!"

"Honey! Where are my lucky Incredible Hulk board meeting socks?!?"

'At this rate I'll end up with more heirs than hairs!'

Uses of a Dead Cat in History: Dead Cat Crown Jewels

'The Burrito King.'

Presidential Pooch Meets The Press

"A Bill of Rights? - Don't you TRUST me?"

"In my own country I didn't drive a taxi."

Leonardo Da Vinci paints a selfie

Trading half a kingdom for a lesser steed!

'Let it go, will you? -- That whoopie cushion incident was years ago!'

"I know he's funny, boy, but he’s also the president of the United States."

'Of all the technological advances from the last 60 years, this is one's favourite.'

'Mona Lisa, would it make you happy if I gave you a foot massage every night?'

'Gerald was stripping some old wallpaper, and there it was - Leonard Da Vinci's lost fresco ‘The Battle of Anghiari'.'

Uses of a Dead Cat in History: Moscow 1917

'You have received a grant from the king - his secret incantation to chant over your experiments.'

"Grant them amnesty and then hang them."

He's the first Master Sculptor since the Renaissance also trained as a Mohel.

'This year, Sire, I've created a socko narrative of scatological raillery and rollicking nihilism which ends with a sexy justification for third quarter losses.'