Modernist Art Gifts

"Nude descending your tie."

"He's a Baumaus student."

Young Frank Lloyd Wright

'It's called 'Oh Bugger It!' if you must know!'

"I think that's one of his early 'blank canvases'. I think there are some bigger ones in the next room."

"You've got a long, long road ahead of you, young man."

"I call it 'Bad Dog.'"

Wolf Danny With "Random""The work must be tantamount to mayhem. Making an insatiable public confused, indifferent, annoyed—this is the premise on which rests my deliberately vacuous oeuvre."

'It's my homage to Picasso.' (Snowman is all mixed up with eyes and nose in odd places)

"I gotta be me!"

"It's a postmodern mosaic, almost lyrical in its undercurrent." "My five-year-old will be happy to hear that."

'It's a Joan Biro.'

"No, ma'am. I'm not sure what the difference is between being creative or just plain weird."

"An unfortunate museum gift shop." "Banksy activity set." "Jackson Pollock coloring book." "MC Escher building blocks." "Claes Oldenburg miniatures." "Marceau Marceau CDs." "Seurat's connect-the-dots aaAAAAA."

"Well....I could've done this!"

Turd - 'It's one of a kind.'

"Would you like to keep eighty-seven tabs open?"

T. S. Eliot Meets Beavis And Butthead

Schools of Art - A Rough Guide.

Mr. Empirical With "Antarctica""Small is hostile. Rage contributes to shift away from literality. I'm off to True Value Hardware for some more self-reference tools."

It's a call from Tate modern.

Clyde in his 'egg-beater.'

The Selfie

Klimt Kiss Phones

"Oh, wow! Is that stunning or what?" "Mid-century classic. Should be in a museum. Let's pee on it." "Totally."

bird interprets modern art

Wagging Dog

'Projectile painting.'

"Is it me, or is Jasper Johns a genius?" "Über-genius, Larry. Über!"

"If there were really a God, trees would come with outlets and wifi hubs."

"You're welcome."

'I can make out the nude, but I don't see the submarine.'

"I suggest we start with the low hanging fruit."

"I was going to call it 'Empty Plinth', but then I settled on 'Winter's Smile'...I wanted to capture the 'nothingness' of an 'absence of anything'..."

"I condensed my painting to the pure essence of the message. What helps me a lot is the fact that I've got nothing to say at all."